The title of this post should totally be on SHIT MOMS SAY!
Well ... okay, it should be on SHIT DADS SAY too.
Last week, my hubby and I realized we'd been so caught up in kids, work, school (well, my school) and LIFE, we kinda forgot each other. Crazy how you can live with someone, see them everyday, but forget how important your time together really is.
We both decided that we needed a date night - and it honestly made my day. My week!
I have this mommy guilt thing where I feel badly for being away at work / school all week long so going out on the weekend isn't a routine thing...
But, after a chat with my hubs we quickly realized that we needed some time, just for us. We need to be happy together to have a strong marriage, and to be good parents to our kids, so we are going to really work at carving out a little more time just for us.
We went to Milestones for dinner - I snagged us a fabulous corner table in the lounge. We sat beside each other (not across!) ... like old times, prior to 3 kids ; ) Awww. Date Night.
It was so much fun - afterwards, we texted the babysitter, realized the kids were still awake & decided to head over to our friends' new pub/restaurant. (Yes, that's what I said. I know, right?)
We saw a lot of people we know & even got to hang out with my cousin and his adorable girlfriend.
It was definitely a much-needed rekindle.
Kinda like that, I fell in love all over again feeling that we needed : )
That, the butterflies in your stomach feeling.
So mommas & daddies, take heed - take your beloved spouse out on a date. You need it, she/he needs it ... and your relationship needs it.
Thanks to my wonderful hubby for a wonderful night. We are already planning our next date ... I already have butterflies already : )
Tonight, the story gets worse. I was hoping to update my blog with good news after the past two posts.
When I got back into my hacked email, I discovered my dear friend sent "me" 500 pounds (over $700 Canadian) in the U.K.
The address that I listed before, that's where she sent the money. She realized as soon as the transaction was completed that it was a scam.
My girlfriends and I are hoping to raise some of the money to give back to her. I know we won't be able to reimburse all of it, but I can't help but feel like it's my fault ...
I've set up a PayPal donation account. - The DONATE button should be just on the RIGHT to this post...if that doesn't work, or you'd rather just go through me, please facebook or email me.
If you do donate, please comment below with the amount. PayPal charges a small fee, but I will cover those costs myself. I will keep a list of any donations by people's initials and amounts so we're all clear I'm not interested in scamming anyone!!
The worst part is...Bell could've prevented this. Last Tuesday I called as so on as I saw my email was hacked. I asked that my email be shut down immediately.
Wednesday morning I called Microsoft (remember, Bell tech told me I couldn't call them after 6pm, so to call the next morning?)
As you may have read in my other posts, Bell did incorrectly direct me to Microsoft for a Sympatico email account....the saga just seemed to be a comedy of errors...back and forth for so many calls that got me nowhere.
These companies did not help. They failed me. Even worse, they failed my dear friend who was willing to help me ... at any cost. Microsoft, Bell, you should be the ones offering to pay her back. This WAS preventable. Microsoft Essentials Anti-Virus failed. Your customer service and technical support representative failed. Bell Canada, you've failed.
Through this, I can help but feel totally helpless. I'm very sorry for my friend....she wishes to remain nameless ... she feels silly for being duped...even though she was just being kind & generous. She's an honest, sweet person.
Thanks for reading. Please consider retweeting or reposting this to spread the word. I don't think I'm going to get the big company's attention ... but I feel like I have to do something to raise awareness; and now more importantly, to help my friend - who was just trying to be a kind & caring friend to me.
Since this past Wednesday - which was my last phone conversation with Bell Canada (in Canada) and Microsoft Canada (in the Philippines), I have been trying to get control back of my emails.
This is NOT a simple CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD & MOVE ON SITUATION. The hacker has replaced all my info with his (hers). They are using my name to TRY to obtain money from my friends and family. ILLEGALLY.
Bell hasn't helped. One very kind representative from Bell Mobility called me today because of all my prolific tweets about the subject. She didn't get very far, although she tried. Bell called me yesterday (Thursday) but I was at work. No voicemail was left, I had no idea why they called.
Meanwhile, the hacker is still sending out emails.
This is a response from a friend who was egging the hacker on from 0830hrs this morning:
Am so glad you replied back, I have nothing left on me right now and my return flight leaves soon. $1,850 is all i need. You can have it wired to my name through western union.You will need my name and my present location to complete the transfer.
Details. Name: Keri-Ann Berga Address: 37 Colville Road, Leyton, London E11 4EQ United Kingdom Western Union will require a Photo Id for me to receive the cash and also a confirmation number which will be given to you as soon as the cash is sent.I'll use my passport as identification. Email me the 10 digit confirmation number(MTCN) and every other details which i will need to receive the cash here. I promise to refund it back as soon as i return home. Let me know if you are heading now??
> To: kberga@sympatico.ca > Subject: Hello?? > Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2012 13:42:39 -0500 > > Hello? Is everything ok? I can send u some money but not all of it. > What were you doing there?
As you can see, there is still a plead for money. There doesn't seem to be an automated program responding, as most responses are different. They are using MY name.
This evening, I've figured out how to get control of my sympatico account. My friend called Bell on my behalf, asking for my password to be changed.It was about mid-week that I realized that the hacker had changed the alternate contact info to his or her mobile # and email. All changes and updates were sent to them.
I was too emotionally exhausted and busy with family, work & school to wait on the phone with Bell for them to change my password for the 10th time. Tonight I got my 2nd wind and called Bell tech support with my friend....
Tech dude went in and changed my password. He then remotely tried to remove the hacker info by clicking Privacy Settings/MAIL/Manage my Accounts/Account Details. He then clicked on: Manage Security Options and then my friend and I could see the hacker email and cell #. The tech then clicked an option to remove all information as it had been compromised. "Lost access to all of your security info? Mark them all for removal"
When I went to sign back in, unfortunately he hacker info was still there.
I finally realized that THE KEY TO THIS IS: I needed THE HACKER INFO needed to be completely REMOVED FROM MY PREFERENCES/PRIVACY. I figured out how.
Here's my tip: If you need to delete an email or mobile phone number (in my case, both were present, belonging to the hacker), you must CONFIRM this change by either a) sending an email to an address or b) sending a text to your mobile phone.
First, I added my mobile #. Then, I removed the hacker's email by getting a code sent to my cell. Then, I removed the hacker mobile # by sending another code to my cell.
Then, when my text was received, I ended up entering the code & removed the hacker's info!! Easy as that. Couldn't Bell have told me that???
I am so thrilled. My sympatico address should no longer send out fraudulent emails. It's only taken 4.5 days and what feels like a million phone calls. I figured it out MYSELF.
I am still waiting on Microsoft Canada to close my email accounts with them. It's worrisome that the tech people at Bell don't even understand the intricacies of the system. I figured this one out on my own. Thankfully they changed the password from the back end....I managed to update all the info in time and took the hacker/program's info out IN TIME.
I look forward to changing ALL OF MY SERVICES TO COGECO ON MONDAY. At this point, it could cost me hundreds of dollars to make the switch from Bell.
And I can safely now say - Bell's customer service and processes are indeed questionable. I am so so so relieved this is almost over. The craziest thing is, I feel like I've navigated through most of it on my own.
(AND, by the way -- Cogeco is offering a great deal, complete with a PVR for a fraction of the price I've been paying Bell for far too many years!)
This is an important subject. This is my experience ... getting HACKED.
And not just “hey, someone sent a link to check out a great way to work from home”. I really want people to hear my story – because I never thought something this terrible and this complex would happen to me in ‘cyberspace’/online.
Someone (or some program) sent out an email to ALL of my contacts on my bell sympatico email account stating that my trip to the U.K went “sour” and that I needed $1800 to get my passport back from the hotel manager. I needed them to wire me money…FAST.
Sounds kinda funny right? Some of my friends got a kick of the bad grammar – they knew right then that it wasn’t me.
I promptly called Bell Surf (310-SURF) and got my password changed. They weren’t concerned with the fraudulent activity and simply said it was a scam.
I got back into my account and minutes later watched as all my files, contacts and emails deleted before my eyes. Shortly thereafter, I was locked out of my account.
I quickly purchased a new version of Norton AntiVirus. Microsoft Essentials which I had been using for security had allowed a TROJAN VIRUS INTO MY COMPUTER.
I called back to Bell & finally got a representative that had enough common sense to give me the Canadian fraud phone number so I could report it.
Soon after that, my password had been changed by hacker/program.
I called back and asked that my account be closed. “No, I can’t do that ma’am” was the response.
Later, feeling violated & frustrated, I went online to the password recovery option (following the antivirus and Trojan removal), the email address that the system wanted to send my password to was tj****@yahoo.com
Here’s what the page looked like when I tried to reset my password:
Select an option for resetting your password.
Email me a reset link
We'll send another password reset link to these email addresses. tj*****@yahoo.com
Guess what? That’s not my email address! It is the hacker email.
There's more. The sympatico account I used for many years had suggested having an alternate email address. So, it was my Hotmail address, naturally.
You know what happened next. I can’t get into my Hotmail account.
Now, it appears that both emails have been hacked.
I cannot close either and by this point cannot access either accounts, even by trying to reset my password. Security questions have been changed, as has my birthdate when I briefly get into my account. (I have called Bell several times to have my password reset by this point. When I briefly get into the account, I can see these changes have been made.)
I try to change the information back, but as soon as I do, the hacker (or program) gets notified, via email from what I can see and understand - every time a new password is made it gets sent to the "alternate" email, which = hacker email.
So, security question is out. Alternate email password recovery is out.
So from here, I move on to the customer support button for my sympatico and hotmail accounts' password recovery; rather than recovering via email (because remember, the hacker has changed it to their address - so they'll get the info, not me)
And I made another startling discovery:
When you click the customer service button for password recovery, it takes up to 24 hours to get a response from Microsoft.
When I did get a response via email (sent to a NEW email I had to create, by the way); the response said this:
Windows Live ID Account Recovery Request for kberga@sympatico.ca – ISP Referral
Thank you for your Windows Live account recovery request.
Unfortunately, we are not able to assist you with your request. Your Live ID account appears to be provided by an Internet Service Provider (ISP). Please contact your ISP to assist you with your account recovery. The account recovery request 34598333 for the account kberga@sympatico.ca will be closed.
Thank you, Windows Live
Microsoft Corporation One Microsoft Way Redmond, WA 98052 USA
Gee, thanks Microsoft. Glad to see I got AN AUTOMATED REPLY REGARDING FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY.
I realize I must make the dreaded call back to Bell.
This time, they tell me that the issue with my HOTMAIL account is with Microsoft and I have to call Microsoft during the daytime hours.
They tell me that they cannot close my sympatico account, and since I access it through Hotmail (even though just the sign in page – it’s @sympatico account) it must be dealt with by MICROSOFT. Fair enough. (On the inside I'm stressing)
I get Microsoft’s phone # and before I hang up, I change my password with Bell AGAIN for the 4th or 5th time since the fiasco began. I go to bed, feeling secure with my antivirus program, new password and talks with Bell employees.
My heart can take no more. I head to bed.
Forward to the morning...
Good morning!!
I have notifications that someone has changed my facebook password from Ajulo, Nigeria. Then in Montreal Quebec, then somewhere else, I can't even remember. Now, my facebook account has been accessed because my hotmail email address is configured with my facebook account.
I manage to let facebook know that I did NOT make this change & make a new password and new email address (it was relatively easy, you can add this option to your account in the account / security settings on facebook). If only my other experiences were so straightforward.
During the morning, while getting ready for work, I call Microsoft Canada first thing in the a.m and I’m told that they aren’t responsible for the sympatico account as I was told by Bell the night before.
Okay, that’s fine, I guess I will have to call BELL back AGAIN.
But while I'm on the phone with you, can you delete my Hotmail account?
Well, no you have to do that yourself on the computer.
BUT…I can’t get into my account to close it. I can't even recover my password.
Okay ma’am, I am going to transfer your call. URGHHHH. I can’t get transferred because I have to go to work, say thanks and hang up. (The world can't and won't stop just because of all this ... I do have to work in between all this. And raise 3 kids, and work on my Masters assignment that's due next week.)
On my way to work, I call Bell loyalty from my BlueTooth & talk to a lovely person who wants to help with a higher level 2 technical support agent. I wait on hold for 8 minutes & I can’t wait anymore because I’m still on hold and have a pending 9am meeting.
During my meeting, I get texts from friends.
My friends are telling me that my Hotmail account is sending the same emails requesting money in the UK. Leyton, London, UK. My HOTMAIL ADDRESS HAS SENT OUT THE SAME FRAUDULENT EMAIL ASKING FOR MONEY (SO NOW SYMPATICO AND HOTMAIL ACCTS)
I go to my office & call Microsoft on my break from the meeting. I'm getting stressed. I'm concerned about identity theft and my friends/family falling for this scam.
The reason for my heightened concern is this.
When one person responded to the email - just to see what info they could get, this is what the email said:
"Am so glad you replied back, I have nothing left on me right now and my return flight leaves soon. $1,850 is all i need. You can have it wired to my name through western union.You will need my name and my present location to complete the transfer.
Details. Name: Keri-Ann Berga Address: 37 Colville Road, Leyton, London E11 4EQ United Kingdom
Western Union will require a Photo Id for me to receive the cash and also a confirmation number which will be given to you as soon as the cash is sent.I'll use my passport as identification. Email me the 10 digit confirmation number(MTCN) and every other details which i will need to receive the cash here. I promise to refund it back as soon as i return home. Let me know if you are heading now??
Keri."
After about 25 minutes on the phone, I end up getting my password MYSELF by doing the security questions, log in and close the account. At some points during all this mess, I can get into the accounts briefly by mailing myself the password – but as soon as I change it, that new password info is sent to the tj***@yahoo.com address and the hacker changes it back.
On my coffee break, I call Bell about the sympatico email again.
This time, I call the Loyalty department again in hope that I talk to the one kind person from the morning who seemed to feel some sympathy for me.
This time however, the service I received was abrupt. Emotionally I am exhausted. Feeling distressed and violated. I was hoping for Loyalty Rep #1 again...no such luck. Said loyalty rep transfers me to a Level 2 tech support agent....I wait on hold...and finally I get to tell my story and ask for my account/email address to be shut down.
Reponse: No, we can’t just close your account. ME: Why not, this is illegal activity? This is potential fraud. Potential identity theft. Someone is uing my name and trying to steal money. Response: NO it’s just an automated program ma’am. They don’t know your password. Me: I try to explain the Trojan virus (which apparently tracks keystrokes) and he says that’s not possible.
After about 25 minutes he says, and why don’t you use Bell Security – you are paying for it after all.
OH MY GOODNESS. I had never been told I had Bell Security.
It’s fine, I say, I just put Norton on. (thinking in my mind, I cannot wait to get out of my services with Bell). Oh, he says - well maybe you can ask Norton for a refund. Yes. He said that.
Fast forward the afternoon. ANOTHER (yes, a third) HOTMAIL account from my home is sending fraudulent emails. I cannot change the password. I cannot alert customer support. I cannot alert my contacts because they have all been wiped out by the hacker.
I think my request is simple to BELL and MICROSOFT:
DELETE AND CLOSE ALL of MY ACCOUNTS. Let me talk to some on the phone who can help me. Please.
SOME scam artist IS TRYING TO SCAM MONEY FROM MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND USING MY NAME TO DO SO.
I decided to call the police. I am told that this is not something dealt with by police.
I call the Canadian Fraud phone #. There is a long wait time so I hang up. I ended up emailing them a copy of the fraudulent email and the response regarding Western Union and where to send the money.
I have not heard back from that email yet.
Tonight as I write this, THIS PERPETRATOR STILL HAS ACCESS TO 3 OF MY EMAIL ADDRESSES.
Finally after PLEADING on the phone call this afternoon, the Tech guy from Bell says that he will cancel my sympatico email address but IT CANNOT BE DONE QUICKLY.
IT WILL TAKE A FEW DAYS.
Me: A few days? When my contacts could fall for this scam and send money? They have access to my personal information and have blocked me from my own account?!?
Bell: Yes, it has to be send to the networking department.
ME: Well, can you explain what’s going on so they can expedite it?
Bell: No, I don’t need to tell them what it’s for, it will take a few days.
ME: Thinking I just have to give up. There is nothing I can do...Okay, I say. Please tell them to put a rush on it.
So tonight, I sit at my computer – wondering if someone has stolen my identity, praying that no one sends money to the hacker … and hoping the Microsoft Canada and Bell Services will step up and help me.
The terrible thing is, for over 8 years, I have spent over $200 a month on their services. I'm experiencing major stress and a loss of faith in business I’ve given YEARS of loyalty to (not to mention thousands & thousands of dollars).
So, here you go world. Here they are. I will NEVER use hotmail again. Sympatico, not gonna happen either
So that’s my story. Despite my terrible experienc, poor customer service is not the main lesson here.
I want to keep in mind the reason I wrote this post was to communicate a few things:
1) Never trust that your internet provider is going to help you when things go “sour”. My internet provider has wasted hours of my time, put me on hold, and seems to have disregarded the risks of and my concerns with both fraud and identity theft.
2) Make sure your antivirus and spyware is up to date.
3) There are ways to protect yourself online. RCMP website has some great resources to help you. If you’re a victim, you can call the Canadian Fraud Centre, or email info@canadianfraud.ca
4) If you’re worried you’ve been a victim of identity theft or fraud, Call Credit Bureaus:
TransUnion Canada 1-877-525-3823
Equifax 1-800-485-7166
They will put a 6 year fraud warning on your name/SIN # and this helps protect you from fraud and identity theft. Note: You have to call both numbers.
5) Don’t trust that just because you pay for an email address through your provider services, that they actually manage the server your info is kept on. In MY case Sympatico has a contract with Microsoft.
6) THIS WAS NOT A SIMPLE, CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD AND MOVE ON SITUATION.
IT IS COMPLEX AND INTRICATE. IT HAS OPENED MY EYES TO HOW VULNERABLE WE CAN BE ON THE INTERNET. I THOUGHT I WAS BEING SAFE ONLINE, BUT I WILL BE MORE CAUTIOUS IN THE FUTURE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT I'M ON MY OWN DEALING WITH IT. THERE IS LITTLE SUPPORT OR ACTION.
PLEASE SHARE THIS POST WIDELY TO SPREAD AWARENESS.
I saw this project online last year, but never got to try it with the boys...then, with Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought it would be a great way to use up all the broken crayons around our house. @Greek_Momma had also recently written a post about reusing and recycling to make homemade gifts and ... I had my inspiration!
It's super easy & super fun.
First, I bought a non-stick pan from Michael's (don't forget your 40% off coupon!)
Then, we peeled off all the paper from our broken crayons. (Tip: Get your french manicure AFTER this project, not before...I had blue nails by the end of it!)
Next, heat the oven to 275 degrees - I set the timer for 15 minutes, but it actually took less time. We had a few jumbo crayon pieces in the mix and those took a bit longer to melt.
Once they cooled a bit (and the risk of spilling hot wax on myself was decreased), I put them outside to cool. I've read that some people put them in the freezer, but you definitely don't need to do that for the project to work.
After they had cooled completely, I turned the pan over and they fell out fairly easily. Be sure to pop them out over a soft surface (I used a placemat) so they don't break. For the smaller circular crayons, it was a bit trickier to get them out. I put the pan upside and had to hit the bottom of the pan with a kitchen spoon (nothing like taking out frustrations on a muffin pan. haha)
THEN, my middle guy had a great idea for this project to make it even better -- CAMO crayons. He picked out all different colours of brown and green and put them in the smaller muffin tins. This is his creation, I was pretty impressed!
We are planning on giving these out next week in some homemade Valentine's with a tag that says: This crayon was made for you with love from ___________ (insert child's name here)
Hope you enjoy this as much as we did!!
Don't forget to leave me a comment & let me know how it goes!
Although summer is my FAVOURITE season by far -- I must admit I love autumn because of all the wonderful baking and cooking I do.
There are quite a few recipes listed on my blog - and I often actually end up using the blog as a recipe book (the other day I made my favourite 'healthier choice' chocolate chip cookies and looked it up on here because I couldn't remember all the ingredient list!
Here's my latest recipe for apple sauce. It's a big batch, but we're hoping to make applesauce muffins with some of it and might freeze some too.
Keri's Easy Apple Sauce
20 apples, cored and peeled, cut into eighths About 3 cups of water (less if you like thicker sauce) 3/4 cup of organic cane sugar cinnamon to taste (we used 4 cinnamon sticks)
Once the apples are all cored and peeled and cut, put into a large pot. Pour water in. For thicker sauce, try 2 cups instead. Bring to a boil for 20-30 min or until apples are mushy. During this time, you can add the cinnamon sticks. I did it about 1/2 way through the cooking time. Take off heat and add sugar. Stir it up well. Let it cool. You can mash it with a potato masher, or put it through a sieve. I borrowed by dad's vegetable mill and put it through that way (similar to a sieve with a turning handle) because I like it less chunky.
Easy as that! ENJOY!!
AND if you're short on time and want to do it in 2 sittings - cut up all the apples one day, drizzle with lemon juice to keep from browning, put it in the fridge and make the sauce the next day (That's what we did!)
So I am quite excited to have Outnumbered up a running again. I miss blogging....I miss thinking about the things I'd like to write about...so here I am!!
It's been quite a year! Last year this time I was getting ready to go into my MScN program, full-time. Urghhhh. Now I'm going to take the 4 year route and go part time. It's a huge weight off my shoulders. I still want to do a thesis - but not until my kids are all in school full-time.
I do have exciting news though - this year, I'm starting up my own business!!
When I got my IBCLC certification I started to think about going into private practice. There were a few factors that were pushing me toward this exciting endeavour. First, I love to help moms & babies. Second, my supportive husband was backing me up 100% & as a business man, he thought it was a win-win situation. Third, I had done quite a bit of research on IBCLC's in private practice....I knew this was something I was passionate about, and could do while still working my wonderfully fulfilling educator position. A few things held me back. I didn't want to step on toes of the amazing services already offered in my community. Fear. Going it alone. Failure? No, not failure. I knew I could do this & it would only ADD to the wonderful group of people offering support to new moms & families in our community.
So I began to research more and more. I wasn't going to jump into this without a TON of information and preparation. I took it one day at a time & did my homework.
Then, in Spring 2011 - my previous colleague and friend Karin (who is a breastfeeding guru) sends me a message on facebook...she's thinking about branching out in her work and is considering helping moms breastfeed in the community - do I have any idea of how it could work?
Talk about perfect timing. It was uncanny actually.
From then, the ball got rolling. Karin is the kind of partner who anyone would want. She works hard & is super organized. In fact, she reminds me of me : ) I'm fairly certain she can now finish my sentences. ha!
Bella Breastfeeding was the name I was thinking of for my lactation consulting business. We threw some names back & forth, and Karin sent me a message one day and said, "How about Bella Vida"? I was sold.
Beautiful Life.
From there, we worked on our business, and business & law homework. We had consulting appointments on our days off (as if moms ever have days off) and did a lot of reading into the wee hours of the morning & on the weekends.
A few short months later & Bella Vida Baby Inc was born.
We are going to offer our community some amazing services. Here's the list:
Prenatal Classes (we are giving the real deal about what's going to happen & what choices are available during pregnancy, birth and postpartum)
Dad's Classes (classes for dads to be, learning about what being a dad is all about, through humour & while having beverages & wings)
Infant Care Classes (from skin to skin to diapering - what you need to know to care for your newborn)
Sibling Prep Class (a fun and innovative way to help prepare older children for the arrival of their new sibling)
Lactation Consults
Breastfeeding drop-ins
Infertility support groups (this is free of charge, offered for families in Kingston & area. Karin experienced infertility for many years & will lead this session)
More services to come: carseat safety, infant massage and more...
This is so exciting - and others in our community are excited too. We've received so much support & positive feedback which is wonderful. In fact, a local newspaper came & interviewed us earlier tonight! We look forward to be offering local families CHOICE. Choice that is based on evidence-based information & current research. Choice in a fun, open and safe environment. No matter what families choose, we will be there to support them, provide information & also provide follow-up if challenges arise.
As you may know if you've read Outnumbered in the past, Bella Vida Baby Inc. is truly in alignment with one of my favourite sayings, "It takes a village to raise a child"
I feel honoured that Bella Vida Baby clients have allowed us to be part of their village.
A few weeks ago we got a memo from the school. There was an upcoming variety show audition. A few days went by and as I sifted through papers for recycling, I asked my oldest if he was interested in auditioning.
"Why, what would I do?"
Me: "I don't know, do your Michael Jackson dance routine or something...everyone LOVES that!"
"Nahhhh, I don't want to do that"
"What about something else?"
"Nope."
So I as put the papers away, I suddenly remembered that, during at a sleepover at our house, my son & his friend did some "jamming" with guitars (PaperJamz) and iTunes. They put on quite a show.
So I said, "Wait, what about doing a rock 'n' roll show?!"
"Yeahhhhhh, okay!"
The following week we had a "rehearsal" with his friends. Pizza for dinner, the jammin' in the basement followed. I offered wigs, sunglasses...you name it. We had some serious laughs, and finally the dress code was discussed by the rockstars - of course ripped jeans & t-shirts was the planned attire.
The day of the rehearsal I was working (heartbreaking!!) so I sent my camera to school with a note to PLEEEEEASE record their performance. (No, I didn't really write PLEEEEEASE!)
This is what the end result was...
It was amazing...my dude was totally rockin' it! (just like we do at home when we lip sync and dance around the house)
I was SO amazing and impressed and proud of him.
No, this wasn't an academic A+ but this experience was much better than that in my opinion!
The fact that he was so confident, so cool, so INTO what he was doing made me so happy.
There are a lot of people in this world who can't ever just let loose...and never really live in the moment. My little guy was able to just BE himself and afterwards he told me wasn't even nervous before going on stage. Wow!!
Confidence is so very important for kids - as a parent I think it's vital to make our children feel good about themselves.
I just think it's soooo cool that my little guy has such a fun-loving personality : )
We all have our moments where we waiver, we all have our moments of self doubt, but with positive, fun and affirming experiences, we can teach our kids that no matter what the situation, they can work through it and still be awesome.
I can safely say when I was in elementary school I would not have been able to pull this off.... and a very serious part of my job as a mom is to help my kids have confidence, feel good about themselves and ROCK it, in every moment, everytime, whatever that may mean to them.
This is a post from last April that I found ... when I was watching American Idol (briefly between the hockey games of course) I thought of this and went back into the archives to re-post it!
April 6, 2010
I am actually watching American Idol tonight. It's probably the only show I'm able to follow - mostly because it doesn't really require any consistent viewing to know what's going on. (It's quite simple, every week someone's getting the axe!)
Tonight one of the contestants (sorry I don't even know her name...ughhh....be right back, I'll go google it)
.......................
Sorry about that, it was Crystal Bowersox (You can see all the contestants by visiting the American Idol Contestant page) She reminds me of Janis Joplin and she actually had someone playing the didgeridoo as she sang "Come Together"
Well OF course there was a huge discussion by the judges & Ryan Seacrest about what a didgeridoo actually is. THe discussion: Does anyone really know what it is?
Oh my gosh! Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick ME!! I know what it is!!
It's an Australian instrument in which you have to use "circular breathing" to play properly. This means you have to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth at the same time to make the sounds through this wind instrument.
Who knew little old Momma K was so knowledgeable and cultured in the department of didgeridoos!
Now...aren't you wondering where I learned all of this quirky information?
I'll give you 3 hints.
1) Australia
2) Kids
3) Music
Yes, I learned everything that I know about didgeridoos from...
So don't ever say being a mundane momma means you're not still being culturally enlightened.
Sweet! It's naptime for the little ones and I have a few minutes of downtime! : ) I've been wanting to blog all week, but haven't had the time! Here goes...perhaps in 10 minutes or less.
I've become quite an avid yogi lately...I am still pretty much a newbie for the most part, but I really enjoy it since starting almost 2 years ago.
I started off in a Beginners course after my youngest was born and quickly signed up for the Beginner's 2nd module. I took some time off from yoga, but when trying to balance family, work, school and life in general, I found my practice to be more important than ever.
Yoga really teaches to be in the moment and to listen to your body, your heart & your mind. It's very holistic, I truly love it.
I then took an Intro to Hot Yoga series and quickly fell in love with doing yoga in such a warm and intense environment. (I am always cold, so the heat feels especially wonderful)
This is how I got myself into a 40 day revolution.
I saw the mass email from the studio a few times & thought, nooo way I could commit to that. Then I started looking at the kids activities for the summer & knew if I didn't sign up NOW, I would never be able to do it.
Sunday April 17th was day ONE. We had our first meeting on Sunday afternoon and it was great. It made me feel very eager and excited for this challenge.
Each person in the group has a journal & a copy of Baron Baptiste's 40 days to personal revolution book. We get materials each week from our lovely and talented facilitator. We started off by buddying up with another member of the group to touch base with during the week & then actually wrote a letter to ourselves. The letter is essentially outlining what we DID accomplish retrospectively (rather than what we will accomplish). I wrote the letter to myself as if I was thanking myself for completing the 40 day revolution.
We end up doing 5 days of yoga at the studio each week, and then 1 day of home practice. We also have a meeting once a week for about 90 minutes. (This week I'm doing 2 days of home practice because of Easter...but sometimes that's more challenging than going to the studio, believe me!) I even went to a 7am HOT class. woohoo!
People will say to me, wow Keri you're skinny enough - do you really need to do 40 days of yoga?
As much as yoga is good for the physical body, it is also good for the mind & spirit. The more I get into this program, I realize that it's more than loosening your hamstrings...it's a real journey to contentment & relaxation. Do I sound totally new agey? My friends who know me as a very literal and analytic type A personality will be proud!! : )
In our weekly meeting this week, we had time to journal - it was guided by our teacher. It was pretty awesome to be FORCED to write something, and be forced to use that time just for ME.
That's the other really great thing about the program - alone time. Focused time. I'm always busy, always doing things, and I'm sure people wonder why I've added this to my busy schedule.
My response is this: I am doing this for ME.
For once it's not for my career, it's not for my education, it's not for my husband & kids (although I'm fairly certain it will benefit them in the end with a happier, stronger, more relaxed wife/mother)
It's for me and no one else. I can't remember the last time I've done something just for me. (Have I ever?)
The quiet time, the wonderful feeling of stretched and sometimes sore muscles, the meditation, the positive intentions....it's all for me.
Moms need me time. Moms need contentment and commitment. This week's theme is PRESENCE. I can't think of anything better when you're with your kids. Truly being with your kids. Truly feeling relaxed and enjoying the moments with them. Not worrying about what's happened before & what needs to be done next. Live & love the moment.
I'm excited that the first week is done...and I've made it! I already feel more relaxed, worry less & feel like I'm breathing more deeply and lighter. I know that my faith also has something to do with this "new" me - and I bring that faith into my yoga practice as well. That's another great thing about Baptiste's book - he definitely refers to the Bible quite often, but he also talks about the Tao, Buddha & other concepts and ideas as well. If you're considering the program, I recommend buying the book & reading the first chapters - I think you'll be hooked!
As one of the moms said in our meeting this week, after our first week she realized it's not just about yoga anymore. It's deeper than that. I can say Baron Baptiste was right when he said you won't be the same person after these 40 days....I'm only 6 days in and feel great already. I'm looking forward to what the remaining 5 weeks will bring : )
I'll be sure to blog about it, at least once a week anyway...in the meantime, enjoy your long weekend, enjoy the moment. Namaste.
I haven't slept through the night in over 4 years.
So you wanna know the worst part of this?
My 4 year old hasn't slept through the night either.
He's a snorer. He's never slept well & has been a noisy sleeper for as long as I can remember. He could sometimes be a challenging child in terms of certain behaviours, but I just chalked it up to being his "middle child" personality...that is until I finally followed my mommy instinct one night over the Christmas holidays.
He had strep throat and wasn't sleeping well. I always bring my pillow into his room (he has a double bed, and that was on purpose so that either my hubby or I could lay with him during his night awakenings). Most nights I'm so tired that I just crash and sleep through his snoring....but this night I was more concerned because he was sick and had a fever earlier.
I watched him sleep (and SNORE) and all of a sudden he made a terrible sound in his throat, stopped breathing briefly and then woke up, startled. His eyes were wide like saucers & it was then I started to put it all together...
He was tired and shy at school. He was doing great academically, but at lunch time he would barely eat & didn't talk much to other kids.
It was then I started to seriously consider pulling him from Kindergarten. It was then that I knew something more serious was going on.
Fast forward to after Christmas break, I talked to his teacher (who I adore) and she said she fully supported pulling him out. There was some talk from school administration that he would have to repeat his year when he came back. The person who said this obviously doesn't know him & the teacher (thankfully) supported pulling him out, and we plan to put him back in school in the fall as if he never missed any class time.
Fast forward to a doctor's appointment, an x-ray and about a million phone calls to request cancellation appointments to an Ear Nose Throat Specialist.... We got an appointment for April 11th. Much better than the original end of June appointment. Oh yes, healthcare at its best. Don't get me started.
So, today was the appointment - and guess what? My little man will have his adenoids out in 3-4 months (due to O.R wait times, don't get me started on that either). Tonsils will wait, hopefully they can stay in, but only time will tell. He has a ton of fluid in his ears, so tubes may be an option too - depends how things look on surgery day.
Moral of the story is that moms KNOW their kids. I knew something was not quite right, even though I couldn't put my finger on it. I am happy my little man will have some relief, but it's also upsetting that I didn't think of this (or recognize and understand it) sooner.
I wanted to share a great article from the Toronto Star that helped shed some light on the topic of Sleep Disordered Breathing - which is what my guy now officially has. Our physician is hoping that the adenoidectomy will be enough to cure his problem, but he may still require a tonsillectomy down the road...
Maybe this will relate to your child, or you can pass it along to someone else. I wish I'd read it about 2 years ago...
As with any healthcare issue, we need to be aware and be advocates, especially for our children. No one would have suggested this to me, and had I not spent some time watching my little man sleep, I would not have known how bad it really was.
I'm just relieved that relief is in sight.
I'm excited for my hubby and I to be able to sleep through the night.
I'm even more excited for my little guy to sleep soundly, quietly, peacefully. I have a feeling he's going to feel like the world is a different place once he know what it feels like to be well rested. I am grateful for that, and I know he will be too.
Today was the official first full day away from the boys (when I say boys, that includes my cutie patootie hubby)...
I am missing them, but I am truly enjoying my time here at the conference. I'm with a lovely bunch of people and the people I drove here with have kindly taken me along with them on shopping excursions, and we've gone out for dinner a few times.
Typically I would feel BADLY about being away from home - but I made a promise to just BE in the present moment and enjoy it. I text my poor husband what must seem like every 5 minutes, but he's a good sport & gives me updates on the boys.
I could get used to this king sized bed business. Too bad hubby doesn't read my blog, he won't get that message. (Can you believe when we first got our bedroom set, I declined a king sized bed because I thought it was too big for us and we were too far away from each other. Seriously. Single girls, go for the KING sized!!!)
Then I started to think...what are my guilty (and not so guilty) pleasures in life? This is my list...a little like Oprah's favourite things. But not as exciting, or extravagant, and unfortunately, you will not receive any of these items for free.
1) Red wine. It tastes lovely, it's preferred over Ativan for relaxation AND it's good for you! AND if that's not enough to convince you, my doctor said I could have 9 standard glasses a week. (For men it's 14 a week - I know right? So NOT fair. I thought we were going for women's equality here people!)
2) Starbucks. Need. I. say. more. Chai tea latte. Creme brulee latte. Espresso brownies. Ginger molasses cookies. Tazo tea. Those breakfast sandwiches. Mmmm, making me hungry.
3) Jersey Shore. I fell in love with this show while working on my Masters full-time. Life was far too busy & stressful during this time. Jersey Shore was mindless crap and just totally, utterly relaxed me. Sometimes after reading so much literature and textbook reading about everything serious, you need to be mindless. And that's all - I'm hooked, kid. (Vinnie is totally my favourite)
4) HGTV. Every single night before bed. Mike Holmes, I love you.
5) Tanning. OMGosh. I can't believe I confessed that!! Ever since our Dominican trip I did a little pre-tanning & I now go for weekly top-ups. Please don't remind me of the melanoma risk. I'm a nurse, I know. I'm focusing on the more positive Vitamin D I'm receiving. Strong teeth and bones right?
6) Shopping. For me AND the kids. What is it about shopping that I love so much?! My current fave: Winners. I can always find something. The deals I find sometimes amaze even me, the frugal Dutch girl. My most recent deal: DKNY sweater for $12 in the clearance section! Does anyone wear DKNY anymore? Guess what - for $12, I do!!!
7) My iPhone. I have recently downloaded Kindle and I'm reading books again. Love it! I can't wait to get the iPad so I can read it on a bigger screen. The best thing is you can make the screen black so I can take it to bed & read without buggin' my hubby with the bright light. Before I left for the conference this week, I downloaded a relax melodies app - I put white noise on last night and it lulled me right to sleep.
Speaking of sleep...time for me to head there. I could've gone to bed at 10pm, but I wanted to blog. I guess outnumbered is another non-guilty pleasure I have. I love blogging. Thanks for reading!!
So, what is your guilty (or not so guilty) pleasure in life?
Go ahead, leave me a comment. I confessed to you, it's the least you can do ; )
So, I feel like I've finally found true contentment in my old age ; ) I have tried to chase happiness constantly. Do more, achieve more, be smarter, be better!
I tried to make things happen....NOW.
I don't know if you have read my other blog posts on this site, but there was a lot of talk of striving for balance, questioning my role as a mom, as a working mom and as a wife. Should I stay at home? Should I work? What really makes me happy? All the while, I was actually denying myself true happiness and contentment.
I tried to enjoy the moment. Unfortunately, there was no putting things off, no true relaxation, no living in the moment. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't really relax and enjoy. I was always waiting for the next best thing, waiting for the next goal I could meet, wondering what accomplishments I should choose to set out next.
After I finished my Post RN degree and wrote my IBCLC (international lactation consultant) board exam, my father-in-law told me it was time for me to just BE. "Just STOP achieving Keri, just be". I figured it was the rum talking. Who would suggest something SO absurd?
Stop achieving? HA! What a foolish thing, I thought to myself. Life is about achieving. I am always accomplishing, always doing, always striving for more. It is part of me. It is who I am. I go go go and I push push push.
Well, I pushed too far & was forced to have a revelation. I have gained so much perspective in my life & feel the need to share it. Perfectionists, Type A personalities and Over-achievers take heed! If you do this forever and ever like I was trying to do -- you will burn out. Maybe not now, but eventually you will. (And this may be a post to myself as an excellent reminder of this fact) Either burn out, or may end up miserable like I did. You need to stop & just be.
Listen to the wise words of my father-in-law.
It has taken some soul-searching, some faith finding, some mellowing and some serious inner kindness to myself. I don't have to be perfect!! What makes me happy IS what makes me happy - not what I think should be or what ought to be.
My favourite people are contented people. My favourite people don't have their Masters, or give a shit about it for that matter. My favourite people enjoy their circumstances, no matter what the situation. Those are the smartest people in the world. : )
I have realized I don't have to achieve all life goals by the age of 35. My Masters degree will always be there when I'm ready to go back to it. My kids will enjoy me more if I'm truly happy, not doing what I think should make me happy.
I need to work. I missed it dearly. (and distance schooling was more than slightly depressing!) I need to feel fulfilled & happy at home, but part of the fulfillment and joy includes working...having time away from my kids...and coming home an entirely better mother. (Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder?) I'd be lying to myself if I said I always wanted to stay home. Being an at home mom is absolutely the hardest job in the world. Much too hard for me.
I am away for 2 days right now...at a breastfeeding conference, in a lovely hotel room...with a truly content and happy heart. I love my life. I know how to just BE. And you know what...I miss my kids, but I'm happy to be here. No guilt, just livin' it & lovin' it. Take a deep yogi breath in over 5 seconds, hold it for 5 and release it over 5...ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Just be. Be balanced & listen to your heart...and your head. I can now say, from experience: Overachieving is highly overrated.
Woot, woot, woooohooo woot!We got back from an AMAAAAZING vacay! We were in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and it was the best-trip-ever. The entire fam went - yep all 3 kiddies and mom & pop. Our friends got married on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon on the beach. The resort behind us, and the sand beneath us...the Atlantic Ocean in front of us...it was wonderful. I think next time I get married (um...I mean renew my vows people!) I will do it in a tropical locale.
Travelling with the kids was actually much easier and enjoyable than anticipated. The first night in Montreal before our flight was not fun. I began to worry that the entire trip would be whiny, crying, fighting, refereeing, and q2min bathroom breaks (that's nurse talk for every 2 minutes, FYI).
The kids got better, and the entire trip did not consist of whining, crying, fighting, refereeing, however it did consist of what felt like q2min bathroom breaks. That's yet another bonus of having boys..."Oh just pee on the palm tree and walk away quickly!" haaaaaaaaaaa!
I have had a few people ask how I prepared for the trip and what things were helpful to bring to an all inclusive resort when travelling with small children.
Here is my list (in no particular order)
- white wine for the hotel the night before the flight. Oh crap, this is supposed to be about the kids right? Okay, I'll try again...
- SNACKS. Lots of them. Yes, you may be going to an all inclusive resort, but do you really want to run to the buffet every time Timmy wants a little nibble? No. Bring a large box of Nutrigrain bars at least. I bought small bags of Smartfood, Sunchips and Cheezies (thank-you Costco) as well. Pretzels, Goldfish, whatever you like. We also brought a huge box of PC granola bars - chocolate covered of course. I also brought soy milk for my little lactose intolerant dude. I had 2 cartons left over & left it for our cute little maid Francio Del Rosario. I just love her name so I had to type it all out. : )
- POOL TOYS. From the dollar store! Sure, you can buy them at the resort, but a) it will cost you your first born and b) they may not have what Timmy wants. Get a few things a head of time.
- SAND TOYS - see above regarding your first born. Pack clothes inside the pails.
- life jacket or other quality flotation device. I meant to bring the puddlejumpers we have for the little boys, but I forgot. Thankfully there were inflatable life jackets available in the resort store. They only charged $8 per jacket. To be honest, I would've paid $20. I could relax somewhat knowing that my kids were toddling around with their life jackets on...rather than worrying they were going to fall in the pool the entire time.
- A STROLLER for the little ones. My youngest is almost 3 so I didn't think he would need one. I ended up mooching a stroller off our friends a few times, and I wished I had brought one too. We used it mostly for naptime, but it was so handy to have!
- GUM for the plane
- Crayons & colouring books and stickers for downtime (again, head to the dollar store - you can leave the maid or other staff whatever you don't use. It's nice, do it!)
- iPhone, iPad or other fun devices. Nintendo DS perhaps? Charge 'em before you leave!
- Drugs. This is important: For the kids: Advil Tylenol Gravol Benadryl Bug spray depending on where you are going (D.R was flagged with malaria for a little while) Sunscreen. Bring more than you think you'll need. Spray on is my new favourite thing. Enjoyed it so much I bought a 2nd bottle of SPF 25 in the resort store for the amazing price of $20 USD. So worth it.
For the adults: same as above, but add Pepto Bismol, Immodium, Advil Cold & Sinus (or other similar product) - first aid kit with gauze, polysporin, bandaids etc.
I brought antibiotics in case of travellers diarrhea. Check out your local health unit for more info. None of us got sick, woot woot! Don't eat the pasta salad, you'll be fine!
We did not immunize against Hep A. We did not take Dukoral. We did not drink or brush our teeth with the water. I showered with pursed lips. I know I have a little bit of OCD, but that's okay.
I came home relaxed and refreshed. I am tanned and my Vitamin D has finally returned to borderline normal values...I have a week off at the end of April & I'm already trying to convince the hubby to go away again. I'd like to go somewhere that I can practice my Spanish.
So far, I know 3 very important phrases:Vino Blanco por favor? Cerveza por favor? Gracias!
Being a mom is definitely rewarding...but do you ever have those days when nothing seems to go right, even if they are small, annoying things? Don't get me wrong, it's been wonderful to be home more, and working (outside the home) less but somedays I really feel the frustrations of motherhood more than others (don't we all!?!)
I found this song on youtube - it's Francesca Battistelli's new single. She's a mom & a contemporary Christian singer...I liked it so much, I had to share it!
It made me realize the small things aren't all that big of a deal in the big scheme of things...and it also made me remember that everything that we go through, happens for a reason! I hope this song lifts your spirits like it did for me. : )
Is anyone else finding winter really LONG this year? Excruciatingly LONG?
I am SO done with winter. I've done my duties pulling the sled around the neighbourhood endlessly, shovelled the driveway multiple times, and put on mittens, boots, hats, snow pants a million times by now - and I don't think that's an exaggeration.
Winter is seeming to be never ending this year - and it could be due to the fact that I'm working out of the house only one day a week & I start to get a little cabin feverish when the temperature plummets to -15 or -20 degrees Celsius and we're all stuck indoors. Little boys' wrestling matches are inevitable...it's even worse if it occurs while I'm trying to get them dressed for the frigid temperatures...darnit, I just turned my head for a minute to find one matching pair of mittens and poof, they are rolling all over the mudroom floor and THEN all of a sudden all the winter gear they were wearing has somehow been removed. Arghhhh!
Add a husband who is doing non-stop renovations to our new "income property" and I can officially say I have cabin fever. Ummmmm, adult conversation anyone?
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting outside in the winter months to play and run off energy but when the wind chill is THAT chilly I think it's inhumane to be outdoors for long periods.
So I've started to be a little more creative lately to keep the kids busy.
We've done the regular crafts, painting and colouring activities. We've baked brownies, muffins and banana bread....
I've even searched for nursing jobs in Florida...(No, I'm not kidding)
C'mon honey, couldn't we move there, even just for a couple of years 'til the kids can put their OWN mitts, scarves, hats, boots and snowpants on?
Okay, so realistically to pass the time on those long cold days, we've had a few other fun ideas - and my oldest gets credit for the first one!
Here are a few things we've been doing at our house beat the winter blues & cabin fever:
1) After buying the boys new swimming gear (hats, swim shirts and trunks) for our upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic, it became ISLAND time in our living room. Everyone wore their sunny weather gear, we took the pillows off the couch and even used the dog's bed as an "island". They had so much fun playing this, I even served them dinner on their respective "islands".
2) Playgroups - We've been checking out the local playgroups in our city. Yes, you have to leave the house, but it's worth the trek in the cold weather once you arrive to the playgroup. It's free and the kids have a great time playing with different toys and different kids. They usually have crafts and circle time too - 2 1/2 hours of relaxing play time, doesn't get much better!
3) Help mom clean. Okay, it sounds a little mean, but they love this, I swear. All you need is a spray bottle, some cloths or paper towels, and vinegar & water. With supervision, they spray the windows, and floors with this natural cleaning product...and voila, my house is cleaner, and the kids are entertained. They are so proud that they "helped" mom : )
4) Bath time in the daytime -- they love this too. After they're done, I wrap them up in towels and dry their hair with my hair dryer. Again, they think this is the greatest thing! If the timing's right, they get dressed into warm clothes right from the dryer. So sweet. (And a few less items for me to fold, even sweeter)
5) Dance! This is probably our favourite activity. No Americano is our new favourite song. The boys dance to this and love every minute. I've gotten it on video a few times & they think it's hilarious to watch it afterwards. I also recently downloaded the "Hey" hockey anthem (c'mon, you know all the words: Hey...heyyyyyy ... hhhhhhey) And remember 2 Unlimited?? They eat it up!
Here's a little Jersey Shore video for you to enjoy -- my boys dance to the same song the Jersey boys do...but I have to say, I think mine are much cuter : )
: ) Well, that's all for now - I hope you're keeping safe and warm!
What are you doing to beat cabin fever at your house this winter?
I recently had the opportunity to review a Canadian made product called WEAN GREEN. I am ALL for using glassware for food storage and freezing - the amount of chemicals, such as BPA that are actually found in our bodies is a little frightening.
These products were designed by a mom of 2; and I was so pleased to see the sample arrive in my mail.
A little about Melissa, the awesome mompreneur: Wean Green was founded in 2008 by Melissa Gunning, the proud mom of two little weaners, Rayne and Talia. Melissa has combined her passion for healthy living and happy babies, and channeled it into Wean Green. Her creativity and enthusiasm radiate through every aspect of the business, and she is proud to be the hard-working mom behind Wean Green.
The products are great! I love the vibrant colour, easy snap on/off lids, and they are GLASS which is great (I am ANTI-plastic, I must confess!!) They can be used for other food products as well (think smarties, goldfish, Cheerios!) I'm hoping to interview Melissa in the near future - for the readers out there who are interested in starting their own business - I know I'm interested in hearing how she got started and would love to hear her advice for women and moms in business. Here's the scoop: (For more visit Wean Green here) Wean Cubes are a perfect addition to your kitchen when starting your baby on solid foods. Homemade baby food ensures the best foods for your baby, and Wean Cubes ensure that these foods stay pure and fresh.
4 x 120 mL (4 fluid ounces)
30 mL, 60 mL and 90 mL measuring lines
Available in packs of four
Great things to know!
Made of durable glass with a silicone-sealed lid
Safe & environmentally friendly
BPA, PVC, Phthalates, and Plasticizer free
Glass is 100% recyclable and sustainable
Smart Clips lock and secure food inside
Measuring lines help you monitor food intake
Stands up to the extreme temperatures required to make, store, freeze, heat, and serve baby food
Four fabulous colors: Raspberry, Blueberry, Peas, and Carrots
Soooooo if you want this product for FREE...leave me a comment below, follow me on blogger (this site) or join my facebook page Outnumbered Momma Blog Fan Page for a chance to WIN!
If you comment & join the fb page and become a follower; you get THREE entries to win. (The follow link is on the right side of the screen)
You can send me a message and let me know you've joined the facebook fan page.
Later next week I will give away my FREE samples of the Wean Green product to one lucky momma!
You may have read my previous post last year on the idea that it "takes a village to raise a child"... the truth is, sometimes we need a little help and feedback while doing the tough and rewarding job of being a parent.
If you're anything like me, you sometimes wonder how your parenting skills are. Or, maybe somedays, they're great, and other days you know they're not quite up to "gold" standard.
For our family, we have some interesting "dynamics" in our home with a 2 year old, 4 year old, and 9 year old in the mix. There is sibling rivalry, a big age gap, a small age gap, and of course trying to balance time between all the kids. How do people with more than 3 kids do it?!?
Over time, people can form bad habits...and I think as parents we can do the same. Sometimes it gets to be the same old, same old, trying to "discipline" them the "right" way, sometimes without making positive changes to achieve this. In my life, I find I'm generally trying to keep the peace and keep everyone happy... and I don't always give a lot of attention to the way I'm working through everyday issues.
Recently, my hubby & I noticed what we were doing wasn't always working...so I first signed up for the Ontario Early Years Newsletter via email, and started to receive information about parenting classes.
I signed us up for the COPE (Community Parent Education Program) through our local Ontario Early Years Centre - it's a 10 week program for parents of kids ages 3-12. Perfect for us! Lucky for me, my hubby is a good sport and is joining me. (Okay, whatever - I pretty much signed us up and said, "Guess what you're doing honey?")
We've attended 2 weeks so far -- and honestly I feel like we've already walked away with some great tools for problem solving, resolving conflicts and generally building healthy relations with our kids. I'm so excited about it, I felt it necessary to devote an entire post to this topic!
I won't discuss everything in the course, but there are a few things that have really worked for us. Positive reinforcement. Simple. Easy. Tell your kids they're doing a great job at something when they're doing it. It's amazing the rewards that come from that simple action. They start to WANT to be better behaved because they just eat up the praise!! We have a tick sheet from the program that we as parents can check off when we really pay attention and praise our children...
Ignoring behaviours. There are certain things that we can let go. For example, we discovered that the big "SIGHS" that my oldest lets out when he's frustrated...let it go!! Ignore it. Doesn't get much easier than that! You're pretty much doing nothing. It's sort of like I've always said..."Pick your battles".
So what happens when the sighs turn into "that sucks" or "I don't care" or worse? Well, we are going to work on that this week. It's problem solving. We are going to discuss it with him, and make a plan for alternative words or phrases to use. It will give him time to vent his frustrations as well (such as, my little brothers play with ALL my toys all the time!!). We are hoping to come up with a plan for appropriate language, and also what he needs from us as a family to make him happy too. I have a feeling some "alone" time for my oldest will be in the cards... It's a win win situation.
So, those are a few of the highlights of our class so far. I'm looking forward to the next 8 classes...it's fun, it's open conversation and the facilitators do a great job of ensuring everyone in the group is able to participate.
If you're interested, check out your local Ontario Early Years Centre - they have wonderful playgroups for ages 0-6 years, as well as a variety of workshops and courses for kids and their parents. The course we are taking has free childcare, and they even feed the kids a healthy snack while we're there.
It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, how many kids you have, where you work...when you walk in the door, they are there to support people to become better parents and stronger families.
The feedback and positive environment really makes me think of one of my favourite sayings, "It takes a village to raise a child"
I am in the mood for FALL! Anyone with me? Summer is my favourite season, but fall is a close second.
I wanted to make chili last week after our apple picking, chip truck lunching, village market shopping day.
I was in the mood for fall and felt like making chili. I wasn't, however in the mood for beef. So, I decided to make a veggie chili in my crockpot.
This is a vegetarian chili recipe that is FULL of delicious & healthy ingredients and full of fibre too! (You'll thank me the day after you eat - just drink lots of water too!) I made enough for an entire meal & then set aside the remainder to freeze for another day. Just cut my recipe in half if you don't want all that food leftover. It is a large recipe, FYI.
The meat subsitute I used is "bulgar" (not vulgar, but bulgar). Bulgar is made from soft wheat kernels that have been cooked, dried and then cracked. Therefore, you don't actually have to cook it, it's more "rehydrating" it!
Step One:
Cook bulgar - about 2 cups of bulgar wheat. Cook as per directions. (you can buy it at Bulk Barn or health food stores) While you're cooking the bulgar, you can get the crock pot ready.
In crock pot add: 2 chopped onions 1 red pepper diced 1 yellow pepper diced 2 celery stalks, chopped 3 cloves of garlic fresh parsley oregano basil 2 large cans of diced tomatoes 1 or 2 can crushed tomatoes (or cheat and add marinara spaghetti sauce - depends how saucy you like it!) 2 cans mixed bean medley (I like PC organics) with liquid 1 or 2 cans of chick peas (PC Organics) without liquid 1 can kidney beans (optional) 1 small can corn (optional) 3-4 tbsp chili powder 3-4 tbsp cumin (or to taste) salt and pepper to taste Hot sauce optional
Add the bulgar to the crock pot to make the chili to the consistency you like. Cook on low for 4-6 hours, high if you want to eat it sooner.
I love breastfeeding. I love free things! Visit this great site to check out some really super cute nursing clothes.
These aren't the typical ugly nursing top - they are actually stylin'!!!! Finally, women who breastfeed don't have to look like they're wearing a MuMu!!
I've come to a conclusion: My boys make me so much more fun than I would ever be without them.
I had started co-coaching soccer with Brian a little earlier in the summer.
My true friends are chuckling, for they know that my athletic prowess is...despicable....less than desirable to put it nicely. I'm a little lanky, uncoordinated and have never really been one for organized sports.
However, as with bug hunting,frog catching, fishing, playing soccer baseball and other boy-ish type activities, I am now somewhat becoming an expert. I did even did some research on the game of soccer...how to be a good coach with age appropriate games, and training. Trains, hot wheels, trucks, NASCAR....you name it. I love it. I'm also getting to be an expert Lego builder. Star Wars, here I come!
I was talking with my brother one day and said, yeah it's pretty cool what having these boys has made me do and try.
Crazy rides at the amusement park, insane water slides that I probably would never have normally even considered trying. But I couldn't say NO to my oldest sons pleas - PLEASE mom, you gotta try it with me! Of course I tried it with him.
The other day when we were out on the lake fishing at the cottage, I felt a taptaptap on my shoulder....I turned around and saw half of our bait (WORMS!) sitting on my shoulder. My little guy was grinning ear to ear as I picked up the worms and brushed the dirt from my shoulder. "Ewwwww" I squealed, much to his delight. I think he figures this is all part of the desensitization process for his very girly mother.
After further discussion with my brother, it was discussed that this is just par for the course with boys.... As in, do you think you'd be doing all these things if you had sweater wearing Jack Russells instead of sons?
Of course the answer is NO. My boys make me a better person, bottom line.
I realize that kids, no matter their gender, will change your life. Lately, since we've been discussing the "no more babies" as a final decision, I have those moments when I'm admiring the dressed-in-pink-frilly-hair-in-pig-tails girls in the grocery line-up and wistfully daydream about what life would be like with a daughter. I then, of course think of my sons, what they've taught me & always quickly remember how blessed I am to have three wonderful boys.
The best part of it is, I'm so thankful for them because they've made me a better mom. I've had some great experiences and tried things I never would have tried without them....they've taught me a lot about being a well-rounded mom...and I'm now a more well-rounded worm-touchin' girl too.
I am the official blogging slacker. It's okay, I can take it. Life's been a bit hectic these days...um, isn't it always!?!
To very quickly bring you up to speed: I have officially applied and been accepted into two Masters Programs. (MSc in Nursing to be exact) I still have not decided either way on my decision. I actually have to discuss my research thesis plans with potential supervisors and choose the supervisor who I feel is the best fit for my plans.
Does that not weird anyone else out? I have to "interview" people who have their PhD in Nursing? Imagine that.
Furthermore, I am writing my International Board Certified Lactation Consultant Exam on Monday. It's the same date, same exam, all around the world. It has been something that my path as a nurse has naturally made me gravitate towards. I always have loved perinatal, neonatal and pediatric nursing. Breastfeeding education and experience fit right in - particularly after having my 3 babies and BFing them all.
To write the exam, as a nurse you must have a minimum of 1000 hours clinically directly related to BFing, and at least 45 hours of formal education. Whew...check, check.
I've been studying with 2 other nurses for the exam so it's been great to have the support (and someone to whine too) but it's been busy busy busy. Yes, I probably should be studying right now, but I need a break. I took vacation days to study, how sad it that?!
Now, I have thought about what I would like to do with this LC certification (Lord help me to pass the exam). The results are posted until October. Patience is a virtue, no?. I thought about having a private practice and doing lactation consultant work on the side to help new moms.
Recently at an education seminar for Nurse Practitioners, an LC presented some great information and talked about how she "under-charges" her clients and she knows it.
I thought - hey lady! Didn't you read the text books? It says NOT to apologize for your fees as an LC. You're a professional and you work hard to keep current in this professional. Duhhhhhh!!!!!
Then, I realized....as I thought about it more...the people who are commonly seeking PAID professional breastfeeding now are the well-educated, higher socio-economic status type of folks. They are more likely people who understand the importance of colostrum, not supplementing with formula, the benefits of breastfeeding and the risks of formula feeding. They've likely had prenatal education.
And these people are probably the ones who can actually afford a private LC consult. The people who truly NEED the private, in-home consults may not be able to, because of the cost involved.
There are a few things I see as wrong here:
1) There needs to be LC's available in all healthcare environments, which is not the case everywhere. The literature says there should be 5 FT LC's in a hospital with 3000 births.
2) There needs to be public LC practices that are government funded so people can bring their babies in. Public Health has a great program where I live - but there is a greater need than they can cover, in my opinion. What about acute care, family health teams, midwifery practices? What about home visits?
3) The privatization of LC's is not really jiving with our healthcare system beliefs in Canada. If we want Accessible Health Care for all, Lactation consultants need to be part of the healthcare team - EVERYWHERE. Just like nurses, doctors, nurse-practitioners, midwives, technologists...
Breastfeeding is evidence-based best practice -- and our healthcare system needs appropriate supports (and FUNDING) to provide help with breastfeeding. 'Cause believe me, from my own experience, education and studying - it ain't always easy.
Without the recognition of breastfeeding supports being truly necessary across the board, it will become a 2 tiered system: the rich people get more help because they can pay for it, and the poor people don't.
This brings me to the point of taking a village to raise a child -- and one retired nurse (also an LC) who I talked to agreed with me.
She said she helps moms at no cost. She's a grandmother to all in her community. Mind you, she does have a nice pension to supplement her income, but she does this work to help. She is part of the village that is raising her community's children.
She will see that a client has a garden - and are not well-to-do. She will say, can I have a few squash from your garden instead of paying me cash? Can your husband change my oil, instead of having to use your baby bonus (Child Tax Benefit) money ?
I realize...as I ponder the philosphocial aspects of my future endeavours - that it will be some time that I would be able to offer free services to my community. But you can bet I will keep in mind these difficulties and ethical issues that are involved in starting a private practice - if I ever do so. I've even thought about a sliding scale type of payment that could be arranged if people ever do request my assistance.
I truly do believe it takes a village to raise a child (You can read my first blog post on this by clicking here) -- and I think reaching out to a new mom or family is one of the best things another mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, friend can do.
You don't have to be an LC to do that...if you see a mom struggling with her bag of groceries, offer to help, if you see a mom at her wits' end at the mall, let her know you've been there too. Suggest playgroups to a new mom or family - or even better, have them over for a tea! Raising kids isn't easy. We all have our areas of expertise - professional or not. Small, random acts of kindness can make a difference.
Don't forget to offer what you can to a new mom & baby.
And I hope you don't forget this Momma's favourite saying:
Ughhhhh, did anyone think I fell of the face of the Earth? Errrrr....or perhaps I'm being a little narcissistic in thinking anyone noticed. : )
Well, for the first week or so I didn't really notice either, but then I started to really ponder and philosophize about life like I used to do...oh sweet philosophy.
Life has been so busy (who isn't these days!) so blogging has taken a back burner.
I've been working lots as always, coaching soccer, taking vacation days, cottaging, rendezvous-ing at wineries with my hubby...life has been good. (I will be sharing the deets about our one night vacay with NO kids soon)
We all went through a tough time when Jackson's Nanny (my ex's mom) passed away from cancer. It hit me hard. I knew it would happen but it was tough. Life is so precious...and to see someone I love suffer, and pass away, not able to do a damn thing about it was so hard.
I see illness, suffering, life and death as a nurse....but part of me wanted to make it better. Part of me denied it was going to get worse. Jackson did well...he still talks about her sometimes & misses her, but he's doing well. It's amazing how kids bounce back. I'm sure he'll have his days, as will we all, but he's holding up well with all things considered.
When she was really sick I spent a few days organizing home care visits, calling doctors, community care, figuring out medications, getting doctor's orders....it's all a blur. I am sure I went into NURSE mode, instead of daughter-in-law (ex-daughter-in-law) mode to get the job done.
It's so crazy, to think of all the things you would want to say to a person, or ask a person after they're gone. Sometimes it's tupid things, like - can I have your Spanish rice recipe?
On a day last week when I felt a little ignored, and upset, I cried. I cried. I cried because there was somewhere, with her, that I felt like I belonged. It was easy, with no pretense. There were no games played, it was real and it was honest. It was what it was. There was no need to guess, or try to read between the lines. Friendship like that is priceless.
Selfishly, that's what I'll miss. That sense of belonging. That sense that no matter what, we'd always be friends because I knew my son was #1 in her life. Perhaps she only put up with me at times because of her love for my son...but that didn't matter to me, and still doesn't, because she was a true friend in my eyes.
Wow...so the words have just flowed. A little deep for my first post back online. I had no idea where it was going. I guess I needed that. To vent...to cry...to remember and smile.
So, as I move on with my life (and as I said in her eulogy), I am vowing to live like this. Simply. Easily. Kindly. With joy. With fun. With a little bit of feisty in there too. Say what you want to say, ask what you want to ask. Dance like no one is watching.
We will always remember why ALL 3 of our kids love Jeff Gordon. We'll always remember how important it is to cheer on the kids at their sports events. We'll always remember that life's too short.
Live, love and laugh for the moment.
That's what I'll do to honour her memory. And I hope I can create and pass that kind and easy sense of belonging and friendship to my kids, and other wonderful people in my life!!
I have written about my friend Sarah in the past...she's one of those mommas that other mommas wanna be like. You can read a post about Sarah here.
Anyway, I'll cut to the chase - Sarah is super witty and I have often told her she should get off facebook for a few seconds and try blogging instead (haha Sarah!!) But seriously - I am honoured and grateful that she took time to write a post on my blog...I love this post, love this girl and I hope she'll come back again soon...enjoy!
Hi Gang!
I’m Sarah. I have 2 little guys. One mini man is 2.5 and our little dude is 12 months! Looking forward to more. Why the hell not! Huge props to Mama K for asking me to guest blog. I’m flattered…..and tired. Please forgive me if this is a serious entry. I just made my return back to work from mat leave….so I am still getting my bearings as a working mama of 2! Here are my thoughts:
I will blog about the one thing that we ALL think about every day. The driving force behind most of our decisions….the constant thorn in our side. $$$$ Moneeeeey. Cash. The buckaroonies rule our lives. But I have recently come to a fork in the coin paved road. See….we live in this day and age of MORE. BIGGER. FASTER and NOW. But I give up. I asked myself why….why do we chase more when all we need ….we already have. Will a bigger house make us happier, or advance our kids capacity to be successful? Will a newer car make me sleep better at night? Will signing my kids up to 5 activities a season make them achieve more success down the road? Should I continue to work full time in constant pursuit of more $$$$$$$.
Well…Mama Shoe has reached a personal decision. I finally saw my light. I came to this place of contentment using my memories. Ya I got all deep and stuff, all by myself one afternoon…..in a quiet room….and I took myself back to being a child. I searched the archives of my mind for a memory that brought me pure childhood joy. There weren’t many. My family was also living the cha-ching life style. Huge house….amazing trips around the world……best of everything. In the middle of our high falutin fancy pants lives, there were good times. Warm memories. Those moments did not involve anything material. When I think of what made me feel loved and secure….I think of one on one time. Trips as a family to the beach. Just us and the beach. Laughs, food, games, and just TIME. Together. And guess what. The beach is free. Those days we had as a family with nothing to distract us…are likely the most precious memories I have of my childhood. I will not let myself get distracted by the pursuit of more. I will not keep my kids busy all the time by carting them from this game to that class. I will let kids be kids and play. I vow to give them my time. Just us and them. So now as I try to implement my new found wisdom…..I am also touched by reality.
Of course we need money. And we want to give our kids the best in life. Family vacations…..team sports. All that jazz-o-roonie. I’m not planning on taking that away. I’m planning a combo attack on this issue. Moderation. Make a bit of cash…perhaps work part time. But give the best of me and the most of my time to my children. Period. I am confident that they will look back on their childhoods and remember US. TOGETHER. Spending time, without distractions. I want more of them…..I value that now more anything.
So Mama Shoe wasn’t’ so crazy side splitting funny in her guest bliz-og entry. Sometimes ya can’t be dropping killer jokes…if your heart is feeling heavy with major decisions ahead. Looks like I have made mine. I am done asking myself questions. I know my answers. It is a personal choice for all of us. If you go with your heart and ask your head to take a back seat for a while…..you will likely be on YOUR right path.
Life…..it’s all about ups and downs, accomplishments and set backs. Bad hair days followed by “dang….I’m look’n HAWT for a mama” days. Can’t predict tomorrow…can only do our best today. Perhaps I can request that outnumbered mama allow me another opportunity to guest blog. Next time I will be light hearted…..crack a few zingers and have a little fun. Had to stay true to my “sitch” this time guys….just keeping it real. ~Mama Shoe is out~ xoxo
Things in my world are good! How are things with everyone else?
The routine of working full time is almost normal for me now. It's great. It's rewarding. Even if I won the LottoMax draw, I'd probably stay there in some capacity. Ummm....or maybe I'd just donate a good chunk of it and make them let me have a Kramer job.
Do you know what a Kramer job is? Remember when Kramer (on Seinfeld) works for the TCB corporation but he doesn't actually officially work there, NOR does he get paid for it? Yeah, that's the kind of job I'd do if I won the lottery...show up when I want, rub elbows with the higher-ups. Drink my coffee and look really busy (instead of actually really being busy). Kramer! In the end he gets fired, but it's all good. He's Kramer.
Anyway...I haven't won the lottery and lucky for me I do real work at work and at home.
The craziness we experience on a daily basis is becoming the new normal. Like it says on the sign at our cottage. "Abnormality is the normality and this locality."
Soccer coaching, getting to baseball, fitting everything into the Monday to Friday has gotten to be normal. It's rush rush rush all the time anymore.
Sooooo many people have said to me that the busy times are yet to come - once you have to drive 3 kids to 3 different sporting events ALL at the SAME time...that's when things are really busy. And ya know what? They're probably right!
Getting home at 5:30pm and getting to ball for 6pm is challenging...but once we get there and I find a spot on that old wooden bleacher (or even better, on the grass) I know it's worth it. The kids are having a great time, thriving, making friends, learning new skills and they have adjusted to easily the new normal.
Question is, when am I going to accept it? When is it gonna get easy for momma? : ) Probably never...because my heart is always at home with them. But I'll keep up the Kramer gig and go with the flow. If all else fails, during my downtimes I'll fake it for my kids. Here's hoping they don't figure me out and fire me like TCB fired Kramer! I realize that, despite the chaos and the busy lives, I have to keep my eye on the ball! Balance IS possible.
Life is good, I can feel the sun shining on me, the wind at my back...the kids are running and playing around me. Despite all this chaos, it's starting to be difficult to picture my family, home, work, and social life any other way. Take that Kramer fans...this is now my real job. It's all real and it's ALL good!
I've been a bit of a blogging slacker lately...but believe me, it's not because I want to be a slacker! It's been WEEKS since I've posted. How is that possible?! I have thought of so many things to write, but just couldn't get to the computer for long enough. Tonight I'm trading sleep for typing which I am sure I will regret in the a.m.
If you're friend on facebook you probably already know our nanny is leaving (yes, remember our nanny who I wrote about a few months ago? She's leaving), my tenants are moving out of out of my rental home after 6 years....and last week my Monday morning started by picking up dogshit. Okay, that was definitely an ominous sign. Yeahhhh, got the hint, jokes on me.
And after all that, I turned into one of those loser people who airs their dirty laundry on their facebook status. Really. It was that bad...I resorted to whining on the F.B!!
So things are looking up, I knew they would....and throughout the drama I kept positive and remembered it could be a lot worse. I could be picking up dogshit. I'm pretty lucky and I try to remember that. Keep your EYE on the ball. Well whatever, I never was one for playing sports, but I enjoy that saying.
So yes, just a few days ago I was sooo happy that our nanny for the kids was home from her month long trip overseas and we had done really well without her (shocking right?) BUT I was thrilled to be back to "normal" ... Or so I thought ...
The bomb was dropped (bomb #1 I should say) on Tuesday night. She would no longer be full-time as of July. July..twenty...third. My first thought: Why meeeeeeeeeeee!? My second thought: Why meeeeeeeeee!?! My third thought: Who the hell is gonna want to look after my kids, particularly starting in the middle of the summer? My fourth thought? Do you have a new job? Do you really have to leave? Fifth? Are you still going to live here? Sixth thought?...well I lost track because sheer panic began to set in and I began to search for that bottle of Malbec. So, now thankfully she has taken pity on us and will stay for the summer months. Part-time, full-time, whatever! I'm just happy she's going to be here for the kids (ummmmm...and for me - just a little)
So what else, what else? I feel like there is so much to write about and so little time. And I'm so tired. Perhaps you are too.
So, let's leave on a positive note. Here's to no more annoying fb status talking about the drama. Save the drama for your momma. (Actually don't, she probably has enough of the crap)
I have some exciting blogs coming up!
VLOGS - which are video blogs. Funny, fun, funner!
Guest blogger - my friend Sarah who should be a motivational speaker/model/winner of the mother of the year award is going to write a guest post. O.M.G she is so witty, I can't wait. I could only dream of being so fun and funny and hot. She also has great hair. She's the girl you love to hate ... but she's so awesome you could NEVER realllllly hate her.
Product Review/Giveaway - Fellow Canadian who has made the most amazing GLASS baby food storage containers. I'm keeping two and giving away 2.
Interview - WITH the Fellow Canadian entrepreneur. If you want to know anything about mompreneuring, please email me your questions and I will be sure to ask her!
10 things you want to know about me. Send me your FAQ's. What do YOU want to know about Momma K?
That's it for now. Good things come to those who wait. Thanks for popping by.
This is (hopefully) going to be a quick post...My hubby has taken the kids to the park so I can get some stuff done around the house. "Stuff" includes putting away laundry and cleaning out the kids' clothing drawers. Hopefully I can get on the elliptical for some MUCH needed cardio exercise too. So much to do, so little "alone" time!
Anyway, back to the drawers.
I am emptying out all of the clothes in Spence's drawers that no longer fit him. Meh, not a big deal, you may say. But for me - it's a huge deal.
This is it! This is the last time I'll empty out the baby clothes...there's not another little person to pass them down to in my house this time. This is the baby's baby clothes!
We have pretty much concluded that we are "done" in the baby-making department. Things are challenging already working full-time and trying to raise 3 boys. Time at home seems to be lessening....soccer and baseball keeps us out of the house most nights of the week. Financially we think of all the things we want to do for our kids. One more is probably out of the question.
I say "pretty much" and "probably" because part of me still wonders...I have pondered other options such as adoption, but I'm not sure about that either.
So, as I sift through the "too small" clothing my cognitive abilities tell me it's right...but my heart says otherwise. Logic vs. emotion. Always a tough thing to weigh one against another. I've always been someone who follows my heart (which can be a shortcoming, believe me) rather than what my brain says. I suppose that's why it's good to have a husband who is being completely realistic and logical.
So off I go...to empty out the drawers. It truly is a little sad.
I will look on the bright side though, and be logical. Just think! I have 3 happy healthy boys and a happy healthy husband. I have a beautiful home, an amazing family and the best friends a girl could ask for.
I just need to keep my heart in check today...and let logic take over.
Logic is telling me that life is good now. Saying goodbye to having babies is like closing a door to a very exciting and happy time in my life. Not to say I don't feel happy now, but geez, who doesn't love new babies??? Could anything be better? Logic, logic and more logic. Logic is thankfully reminding me that these clothes are going to be passed along to my adorably sweet and handsome little nephew.
So it's not then end for them, it's a new beginning. Cheesy, you may say...Even cliche! Sure, why not? Whatever gets me through...it's definitely a little emotional for me, I will admit it.
But this is something I'm keeping in mind and this is one of my favourite quotes that applies to so many things in life.
Every new beginning comes from another beginning's end.
I started blogging a few years ago on blogspot...aka Blogger. It all started with me meeting a woman in the parking lot of Sears. I was struggling with the stroller, it was pouring rain, and I must've had an exasperated look on my face. I was parked in the new mothers/expectant mothers parking, which as you all know is usually beside the 'handicap' parking spot.
A woman came out of her car & smiled at me. I gave her a quick smile and continued with my business.
She said to me, "You know, I used to wish for time alone. I wished that I could just have one shopping trip alone...without the kids at my feet....how I longed to shop by myself! Well my dear..." she continued, "all of those years passed by so quickly - and here I am now shopping alone. Wishing for someone to be with me now...." her voice trailed off.
It was as if she knew, from the expression on my face that the last thing I wanted in that exact moment was to be hauling out a huge stroller from the trunk and I must've looked so disdained & distracted that she felt compelled to tell me her story. She must've known that I felt like the sarcastic woman in the photo above....
I still think about it, so many years later.
That is what inspired me to write my first blog post, believe it or not! I wish I had the original post, but I think I got too busy, stopped blogging and maybe even cancelled that account. That's not the point though. It was something that at the time seemed so minor but in the end made such a difference. I realize there will come a day when my kiddies don't need me like they do now, and my little baby boy will no longer be able to wrap his fat little legs and arms around me & SQUEEEEZE with all his might. When I first started out as a mommy I'm not sure I appreciated it as much as I do today.
I feel pretty lucky to have this knowledge now, because I know many people in this world rush through it & don't savour the really great moments. People end up living in regret...Regret, I've learned sure can be a terrible thing. Sure, there are some times we'd all like to rewind, take back and do over. But now I feel like I am starting to figure it out. Only took me 3 decades, a few years, and a few hundred lessons learned to put it all together.
But I'm happy I've figured it out in time...'cause these years FLY by...and sometimes I just stop in the moment, look at my boys & try to freeze that very moment in my mind. I often have those "I don't want to ever forget this moment" moments when I look at them. For example, sitting around the dinner table and they're all chattering away to each other.... I thought to myself - I am so lucky to have these little people in my life. Taking these moments for granted (even the small, seemingly insignificant ones) would be a terrible thing. That my friends is an lesson that now seems simple.
Life is good. There's nothing more I can say.... Life is good.
I'm feeling somewhat feisty/cynical/cranky/tired today and I started to think about my pet peeves.
Then I started to think that it might make an interesting post.
You may beg to differ and find my peeves to be perfectly acceptable. You also may beg to differ and find that this is not an interesting post. But lucky for me, this is my post & I am running with it! Freedom of speech! Yeah!
Here is my list:
- the term "Oh Snap". Yeah I would get it if you were using snap instead of a swear, ie: unlike me who would prefer to say Oh Shit. Oh snap is like a discovery, a revelation, something brilliant. Oh Snap? I hate it! Dis-like.
- people who "share" their facebook profiles. For example JaneJohn Doe. Really? Are you that insecure or computer illiterate? Did you and do you really have ALL the same friends? It's got to be impossible!
- people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle of the grocery store. Really? Do you think you're the only person in the store? Move OVAAA!!
- people whose pet peeve is the whole "cell phone in public places" business. You know what? My time is precious and while I'm grocery shopping I am perfectly capable of shopping and talking. Furthemore, it may be my only opportunity to have a conversation uninterrupted by the need to referee a fight or by someone else screaming and/or crying.
- Calling my phone/internet/satellite company. That's a long story, but I despise it. It makes my blood pressure rise just thinking about it. Unfortunately all my services are from the same provider. I won't name names but it's rhymes with SMELL. Funny because I think they smell. Stink. Ew!
- On that note, I'm peeved at myself for not changing companies.
- People who don't signal when they drive. Did you know you should signal, then break, then turn? Is it that difficult, push the stick down or flip it up. Magical!
- People who bring their sick kids to my house, to playdates, to the bookstore, to the toy store. Ew ew, stay at home!
- PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs. I don't get it. It's annoying to read, and really looks like it takes far too much time.
- People who don't want to have kids because it will ruin their body. Um, yeah not naming names.
- People saying "I seen". For example, "I seen that movie" instead of "I have seen that movie" or "I did see that movie" or "I saw that movie". I ain't got nothin' else to say 'bout that one!
I think that's it - for now anyway. What are YOUR pet peeves, what drives you crazy?
I feel like that was great therapy. Whew! Thanks for reading.
PS - Janine, you will not like this post. I must admit that Janine, unlike me, knows that patience is a virtue and has much more of it than I do. For a feel good post, go see her at Spoonful of Sugar
For an entire week I lost my phone. I love my phone. I love to text my closest girlfriends. I love to call my besties and chat about nothing and everything. In the car, after a long day of work, I go handsfree and love my life!
When I came home from work one day this past week, I couldn't find my beloved phone. It wasn't fancy, it had no data plan, it had no internet. It was was my simple communication lifeline. Text. Call. Text. Call.
I began my search and called my phone incessantly in hopes of finding it. No response. I scoured the backseat of my carpool buddy's vehicle to no avail. Then I thought...perhaps the ringer is off. But not to worry, It would glow if I called it. So what would any other desperate phone-loving woman do?
I turned out the lights & called the phone again! I scoured, in the dark for my phone. Redialling, redialling.
Great idea right? No cigar.
Friday after work, I decided it was time to call the search off. I had lost hope.
My facebook friends recommended an iphone & after playing with it at the store for a while, I decided I had found a new love. Oh, yes my Samsung was my old reliable, but the iphone was shiny and sleek, and so easy to use. It is intuitive, it just does things that make sense. Within seconds I was texting, calling & checking emails and checking out some pretty cool apps. I was sold.
Sold, that is until the Rogers girl told me that my "Corporate Plan" would have to be upgraded over the phone. Ughhhh, but i have no phone to call the "corporate office"!! What was I to do? I surely couldn't go home, if I did that would mean I would have to come back to the mall with kids. That was no way to shop for an iphone!!
With my head hung in shame, I went to the pay phone. Shudder. The PAY phone.
Ummmm, did anyone else miss the memo that PAY phone costs FIFTY CENTS now? Oh yes, yes they do. 2 quarters. Thank goodness I had 4 of them. First call was to my husband who I'm sure was rolling his eyes at my antics. Call #2 was to the Corporate office. The man I spoke with was lovely, don't get me wrong. But standing in the middle of the mall on a PAY phone was almost enough to put me over the edge. Being put on hold for 10 minutes in the middle of the mall on a PAY phone did put me over the edge. I got off the phone & realized that that deal he offered wasn't that much better than the "regular plan" that "regular consumers" could get.
So off I went with my dirty ear (this was almost enough to make my germaphobic self go insane) and Ireturned to the shop to say "FORGET the corporate!" I would rather pay an extra $5 a month and deal with a real person, than deal with someone over the phone. When you deal with the people in store, they also offer a loaner phone if something happens. With the corporate office, you get your phone mailed. Yuck. Really? More waiting? No thanks. More calls on hold? No thanks.
So, to make a longer story a little shorter, I got my new iphone with a great plan. I have already been playing with it, checking mail, adding contacts, shopping at itunes, texting, you name it. I have downloaded educational apps for my kiddies (who knew, just a few days ago I didn't even know these apps existed!) I'm sure there are many more features for me to discover. I bet I'll even post a blog from my iphone one of these days! I'll get there, I know I will.
I lllllove my new iphone. Truly love it. Here's to my new iphone!
And here's to me never ever having to use a germ covered PAY phone again. I'll keep my iphone & igerms to myself, thankyouverymuch!
I completely FORGOT to post about my Mother's Day present! This is what Brian SURPRISED me with on Mother's Day. Isn't it gorgeous?
Since I've been attending my spin class on a regular basis I have become even more interested in getting my flabby arse into shape getting involved in outdoor riding.
I looked into a few options and decided with some great advice from people who know something about riding real bikes that I should check out our local bike shops. I was going to buy from Canadian Tire (my favourite Cdn store!) but instead went with the shop who specializes in biking. Great advice that my dear hubby took too since he found & bought me the perfect bike. It was love at first sight.
The one thing that actually triggered my interest (besides my very obvious mom body) was a woman in my spin class who has Celiac's Disease. She was helping to organize and recruit people for a ride for celiac in August and made an announcement after class one morning. I thought it was the perfect way to get out there, meet new people & support a good cause.
"It's just downtown, to a local island where you have lunch and then back again" Oooooh, music to my ears! She continued: "And it's just recreational, it's not a race and it's only about 58k." Fifty-eight my friends, fifty eight kilometres. For my yankee friends, 58km is (according to google) is 36.0395291 miles.
I know that probably sounds like peanuts to some, but for me it's a little bit of a big deal. That said, the "recreational" emphasis and the fact that the proceeds from this event go to a very good cause, I signed myself up.
Now, I've got exactly 67 days to get myself ready for it. The woman who coerced encouraged me to join them said it was probably a good idea to take the tour beforehand to see what's it's like. Oh yes, in my free time I will strap my children on my back and ride 58 km "to see what's it's like..." : ) Okay, I'm exaggerating - I'm sure I'll be able make the trip out beforehand to see how I fare.
I'm happy to say I have publicly admitted I am dedicating Saturday mornings to spinning, although at times I would rather spend my precious alone time doing other things, I am also letting you all know that I will be getting myself in shape for this ride. Please, pro-riders, biathletes, triathletes, don't mock me or laugh at me. This is a big deal in my little world! Baby steps, baby steps and I will get there.
Next on my list: Cut back on Doritos. I'll keep you posted on that "to do" item. I can almost guarantee THAT will be tougher than the 58km.
What a beautiful week, and a beautiful weekend so far. I was up at 3:30am this morning! Yikes. The kids were up a few times & of course my mind got into high gear (remember thinky thinkerson?) and I just couldn't get myself back to sleep. I started to reflect on my great week with the boys.
I often will start writing posts, and then I don't have the time to finish them. Here's hoping this one gets finished.
My dear friend Janine who writes an inspiring blog called Spoonful of Sugar talked about something her girls did and how it made her "heart happy". I loved that.
I'm learning to stop & smell the roses...I'm learning to figure out what truly makes my heart happy.
Here are some of my favourite moments from my week:
- Jax went in the forested area behind our home and found some beautiful perennials, dug them up (roots & all) for me to plant in the front garden.
- I hosted a playdate with some of my favourite girlie friends. We had a total of 9 children here, it was surprisingly not that chaotic! Loved the adult conversation too.
- After my Jax had picked me some perennial flowers, Ollie went into a flower basket that my sis-in-law had given me for Mother's Day and pulled out a chunk of flowers for me! He was not going to be outdone by his older brother! I laughed as I looked as his little face, so full of joy and pride.
- Local bookstore trip with the ladies...the kids play, we have coffee. What could be better? I even met another mom who I know of through a mutual friend. She told me she likes my blog! Who knew?
- Cooking dinner every night! Loved it!
- Cleaning and tidying up my house (the de-cluttering continues!)
- Heading to the park every day before we picked my oldest up from school
- Mornings at home, with coffee & my boys
- Watching the boys "rock out" to my hubby's Foo Fighters DVD. I have to catch it on video one of these days, it's priceless.
- Last minute dinner out with friends (kids included)
- Last minute dinner with the girls from my previous workplace (kids not included!)
- Having the boys to myself while the hubby played in his hockey tourney. (I know, oh so selfish)
- A great workout with my spin buddies
- Baking with the boys, cookies, muffins, you name it.
- The list goes on....I love catching those little moments with the boys, the ones that make me laugh out loud. The kids can make me frustrated at times, I will not lie -- but they are so so precious, hilarious, fun and adorable. It's so important to remember how lucky we are, even in tough or frustrating circumstances.
There were so many things this week that made my heart happy.
Wow! Is it really Thursday already? If you have seen my facebook Outnumbered Fan page status you already know that I posted about how I find it hard to believe how some weeks at work can drag on but at home time just flies!
I am loving being at home - we do miss our nanny, but things are going a lot more smoothly than I expected. I figured that the help around the house would be a huge issue for me. Turns out, I've been keeping up with it all by doing a little bit each day. And you probably know from previous post...I thoroughly enjoy mopping. It's tiring after a 10 hour day, but we are managing. Luckily the hubby had a touch of OCD when it comes to a clean kitchen which is quite helpful & greatly appreciated!
The thing I miss most?
Quiet time for 30 minutes when I get home from work. Our usual routine is to have the kids playing with their nanny, either outside or in the basement while I prepare dinner. That would give Brian & I time to chat and catch up. Funny how the smallest things can make such a diffference.
To be perfectly honest, I think this is probably the best job in the entire world. I love catching little moments and little laughs and giggles with my kids. There were SO many instances this week when my kids said or did something absolutely adorable, or hilarious - and I thought to myself, "If I had've been at work, I would've missed all of this". I don't want to be with them 24 hours, I can admit...but being gone 50 hours a week at this point in their lives? I'm not so sure about that option either. There are challenges, and there would have to be major budget cut-backs if I ever did decide to NOT work full-time...but I now think my personality would be suited for it. 5 years ago I might've thought differently. I have a little more patience now & I think I have a lot more wisdom and insight.
As I've chatted with other moms, it has become apparent that for some women, what they do is what they believe is the best for everyone. Well, it's right for the person...just because I've pursued further education and have a dream job doesn't mean it's right for me at this very moment in my life. I love reading stories, articles & blogs about moms who have left the career life for their home life. So inspiring!
I figure there has to be something or somewhere that I can fit myself into these roles. The academic in me wanted to know more. I read some of Hyde's work on role strain & working mothers. (You can take the geek out of school, but you can't take the geek out of me!) There is even a Sloan Work & Family Institute with a ton of evidence-based information on working mothers, families, breastfeeding and more! Click on the link above for a wealth of information about mothers, roles, and how gender plays a major part as well. I know, I'm feeling deep and philosophical today. Must be my Chai tea latte going to my head : )
Here's what I found: Role strain is a very real and relevant concept, which briefly defined is thestressorstrainexperiencedbyanindividualwhenincompatiblebehavior,expectations,orobligationsareassociatedwithasinglesocialrole. Role conflict on the other hand, happens when there are many obligations happening at once due to differing the roles. For example, I have my oldest son's field trip on a certain date. He really wants me to go. I have a really important meeting at work, my colleagues are expecting me. How does a person decide?
How do you decide what's most important?
How do you define your roles and avoid such conflict as a mother? Everything can't be perfect all the time, I realize that - but I want to know....how do people make it work?
In honour of nurses week...this is an editorial I wrote with my good friend last fall (2009) It was short & sweet, but we felt it necessary to write in as the preceding article was pretty much saying nurses were lazy & unhappy. I took out the hospital name & the name of the person who wrote the original article for the blog post, for privacy & also because that's not the important part of the message.
As registered nurses, we felt compelled to respond to the story "A 'comedy of errors' " (Aug. 1), written by a woman who complained about the treatment her mother received at ______ Hospital. We see first-hand what the hardworking nurses and other staff at the hospital do each and every day.
What happened to (name deleted), is very unfortunate, and in no way was her experience acceptable. But, unfortunately, given the current state of our health-care system, her story is probably not the only one of its kind. We are experiencing budget cutbacks, loss of jobs (by attrition and otherwise) and a generalized attempt to play catch-up for a long-standing deficit. This impacts the staff of hospitals, but, more importantly, it has an enormous impact on the care that our patients receive.
It is well-documented that as nurses' workloads increase, so does patient mortality. More patients are sicker, which means that they need more hours of nursing care to recover. It is physically, emotionally and morally distressing when -- as a nurse -- you cannot provide the care that a patient should receive.
The tone of the story suggested that the nurses at the hospital aren't happy. The truth is, nurses and other staff simply cannot stretch themselves any further.
All the registered nurses we know strive to provide the best possible evidence-based care. We are passionate about our work and take pride in the care we provide.
Nurses are responsible for upholding the College of Nurses of Ontario standards of care and must also undergo quality assurance, continuing education and skills development throughout their careers.
The bottom line for patients is that bed shortages caused by bed closures create longer wait times. Bed closures are overcrowding our emergency departments. Shortages of skilled health-care workers continue to occur, and the list goes on. It is a vicious cycle that deserves everyone's attention.
It is vital that Ontarians be heard. Contact your MPP. Contact the minister of health. Our elected officials need to hear our stories and need to be reminded that without our health, nothing else matters.
I was at a conference last week and there was one man who presented to a sea of women. He was a dynamic speaker & I really enjoyed his talk. He was also wise enough to start his discussion by saying Happy Mother's Day to the ocean of women whose undivided attention he had. He mentioned that he had heard on the radio that moms don't reallllly want breakfast in bed. Well, that captured everyone's interest. Why? Well, they'd just have to clean up all the crumbs and mess in the end anyway.
How true!
So what do women really want on Mother's Day? What do YOU want for Mother's Day?
A little bit of 'alone' time was the consensus.
I agree.
My hubby and I actually decided last year, that with our lacking (errrr non-existent) time for ourselves -- it would be best if on Mother's Day & Father's Day we had a little time to do whatever we wanted. The only stipulation: It had to be "Me" time. I think Brian created this plan so he could go golfing on Father's Day guilt-free (haha) but I was sold on the idea.
Other than time alone, what do you want for Mother's Day?
The only additional thing I would like might be a little recognition for all mothers around the world.
I realize that some people might think that this ONE day is recognition enough....but I think it would be nice for all of the invisible tasks that moms do to be visible, even for a short while.
Invisible. Invisible: Simultaneously carrying out tasks without so much as blinking an eye. Invisible: Not noticed, not seen, not obvious. Waking the kids up, while collecting laundry, while applying mascara, while planning what to discuss at this morning's meeting.
Grocery shopping, while spending quality time with the kids, while planning meals for the week, while not being able to control her urge to kiss her child's fat little cheek in the middle of the grocery store produce aisle.
Cooking dinner for tonight, while planning dinners to freeze for later, while helping a child with homework. She may even squeeze in a facebook comment if she's lucky.
Signing permission forms, writing cheques, planning schedules, while asking her boss for another day off, for she can't possible miss being a chaperone on a child's school field trip.
Making time for friends, date nights with hubby, quality time for each child, and phone calls to family.
Writing thank-you cards, while pondering beautiful home decor plans, while deciding on & implementing the best possible storage for the mountain of toys that surrounds her.
Seamlessly...she seems to be able to fulfill an assortment of tasks. Seamlessly, she thinks that she's at her limit, but yet she finds one more thing to add onto her list of life responsibilities. Seamless, with no complaint.
The invisible work of mothering.
I think it's important acknowledge the invisible work of women, particularly that of mothers.
Enjoy your day mommies of the world. Today is your day.
May today unveil all of the invisible things you do.
But don't fret - because even if the light doesn't reveal the entire truth of your work - remember there is no one, not one person who can do your job of mothering the way that you do. I hope my Mothering friends get to have an afternoon of relaxation as I am so blessed to be having - thanks to my husband, who has kindly delved into my world of invisible work and offered to not only help me, but relieve me of my duties.
Happy Mother's Day. I hope you get lots of love & hug & kisses from your children and your mate! Enjoy your day.
Here is a beautiful poem I found by Alison Luterman...I hope you like it as much as I do.
Because no one could ever praise me enough,
because I don't mean these poems only
but the unseen
unbelievable effort it takes to live
the life that goes on between them,
I think all the time about invisible work.
About the young mother on Welfare
I interviewed years ago,
who said, "It's hard.
You bring him to the park,
run rings around yourself keeping him safe,
cut hot dogs into bite-sized pieces for dinner,
and there's no one
to say what a good job you're doing,
how you were patient and loving
for the thousandth time even though you had a
headache."
And I, who am used to feeling sorry for myself
because I am lonely,
when all the while,
as the Chippewa poem says, I am being carried
by great winds across the sky,
thought of the invisible work that stitches up the
Ohmigosh, tomorrow is my baby's first day of nursery school. Where on earth did the past two years go?
As you probably know, my nanny has left for 4 weeks. I cried when she left. Bawled. Like. A. Baby.
I was sad to see her go, I was hormonal, but most of all, I was sad for my kids. I know they will be well cared for by our wonderful family who has kindly offered to help out with babysitting for the the month and I am lucky enough to be staying at home with them for an entire week... but I was worried about their usual at home daycare routines with the nanny. I was afraid they would be sad without her during the day while momma was at work.
Well we've made it through the first few days. Slightly exhausting to say the least, particularly when for so long, our routines were unspoken, there was no need to set things out, explain the routines, the kids' likes and dislikes...It just became easy for everyone. I'm not complaining, it's nothing major, just the little things.
Tomorrow my youngest and middle children will be going to nursery school together -- for the first time ever. Ollie has gone since September, and Spence will be attending for May so that the surrogate babysitters will have a break (ahem, yes that includes a break for mother of the year as well).
Sometimes I wonder where the years have gone...I think part of getting older is realizing how quickly the days, weeks, months and years pass by.
I wonder if my frequent ponderance of being a stay at home mom is related to the fact that my children seem to be growing up at a lightning speed. I am very aware from the advice from many, that these moments of raising little people are some of the best moments of life. I remember being in university and life was good. So good. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that I savoured every moment. I took it for granted a little. I learned a lesson from university (besides that liquor before beer, and you're in the clear) and that lesson is sticking with me. Enjoy the moment, because as with many instances in life, you don't realize what you've got 'til it's gone.
I don't want to reflect back on my life and think OH I should've just sucked it up, been poor, and stayed at home. This wasn't meant to be a whiny, woe is me post, but the words are just flowing...thanks for making it this far if you're still reading.
I keep thinking about how crazy this is - in September my Ollie will go to Kindergarten. Tomorrow my baby is going to nursery school. It's only part of the day, and I know he'll do so well. He is such a happy, smiley, joyous little person. He loves life so much! And he already runs into the classroom like he owns the place. He's been wanting to attend since last September.
But, in keeping with my usual routine....there will be photos taken, photos posted...and tears to follow.
I got a blogging Sunshine Award! Who knew? My blogger friend Janine left me a comment on my blog today, letting me know I won an award.
Janine is a sweet home schooling mom who always has it together. She's also a great cook! Her blog is called A Spoonful of Sugar and the title totally fits her, 'cause she's the sweetest. She also comments on my blog every day! I visit her site everyday too. Love that.
Anyway, back to the AWARD! I went to check it out and discovered that I won her SUNSHINE AWARD!
This is the deal: I am now going to list 12 blogs that bring some sunshine into my days. Go check 'em out!
1) Spilled Milk This workin' momma makes me laugh & reminds me I'm not alone!
2) Life Candy Cool, witty AND funny Canadian mom who even writes for Canada Mom Blogs. Come & bask in her awesomeness...she insists : )
3) The Millenial Housewife The Dutch in me loves the great deals she finds for her readers. I also won a free book from her site!
5) Because I said So Awesome mom of 6, recently single, and writes books. She's hilarious!! She was one of the first blogs I started reading because I did a google search of having 3 vs. 4 kids. I figure it was a sign from God. This woman has 6 and she's still sane!! : ) Surely I can manage four!!
6) Style by mommy Cool fellow Canadians who have their own store online called Everything after the Stork which sells high end used clothing! What a cool idea. I wish I had thought of it.
Okay, I was supposed to list 12, but I think these 6 are so amazing that they really equal 12 in my books. Twelve hundred maybe even!
So now that you've received the award, this is all you have to do.
1. Nominate 12 blogs. 2. Put the award logo onto your sidebar or within a post. (I just saved the pic and uploaded it into my post. What the hell is a sidebar anyway?) 3. Link the nominees within your post. 4. Let the nominees know they’ve received this award by commenting on their blog. 5. Share the love and link the sidebar logo to the person from whom you’ve received this award.
Thanks again Janine!! Lovin' the sunshine today, it was a nice surprise after a busy week. : )
Lately, it seems all we watch is hockey. Hockey highlights in the morning, hockey news in the afternoon, hockey games at night. Even my 3 year old wants to watch Sportsdesk highlights at 7am. Um, really? Can't we watch Caillou instead?
I should probably suck it up, seeing as I am Canadian, and have all males in my family.
The thing is, I used to watch one show religiously every week. Just one. That's all.
It was Grey's Anatomy.
I loved this show. My dear friend Chrissy & I would get together every Thursday at 9 pm to watch the drama & excitement. We would drink red wine, turn up the volume and shush my husband when he tried to talk to us. I recall Chrissy & I leaving class early when I was doing my Post-RN nursing degree just so we were home in time. Grey's was just that sacred.
Now....all I seem to watch is hockey.
You're probably thinking "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Suck it up buttercup. I know. I'm doing my best. I'm trying to be enthusiastic. But the truth is, hockey is not Momma K. Momma K is not a hockey fan (unless it's my oldest playing!) I'm trying.
The fact is, I miss Grey's. I was really looking forward to kicking back and watching it tonight. Well with a sick husband (good Lord they whine more than children), and a bed already occupied by him watching (take a wild guess!) HOCKEY, I was brought close the brink.
My oldest is off school tomorrow, so I promised he could stay up to watch an extra TV show. Ooops, another TV taken.
I walked into the room where my husband was, became completely exasperated, sighed loudly and told him we needed another TV. I think he thought I was crazy.
Maybe I am.
Finally, after counting to 10 under my breath, I suggested that my oldest boy go upstairs to watch my recent cross to bear HOCKEY! He took the bait. I had an entire 17 minutes of Grey's time all to myself. I also caught the first 7 minutes of the show (I missed some of it due to the mountains of playdoh on my kitchen table that required tidying).
So, all in all, after months of NOT being able to watch Grey's, I was pretty excited that I caught approximately 24 minutes of the show. Not bad after all this time away.
That was enough for me. Seeing McSteamy holding that baby tonight was enough to sedate me.
I love McSteamy. I don't get too ruffled over many TV or movie celebs ... but there is something about McSteamy that is...well, you know. I'm just in awe. It's okay, my husband knows. He's okay with it. Ahhh, McSteamy.
This post is brought you by my serenity now McSteamy moment. Thanks to my 24 minutes of me & Grey's time tonight, I feel much more relaxed.
(By the way, his real name is Eric Dane in case you wanna google him. C'mon, you know you wanna)
Make sure you check back in for my next celeb post...my other fave dude in Hollywood, or should I say in the Forks - Edward. Bear with me, I don't get out much
It's not a written test, but rather a personal test of whether I really think I could really, truly be a stay at home mother. Really truly stay at home and really truly stay sane that is.
I just re-read the sentence above and think my words are, between the lines, expressing not only concerns for my sanity, but are also expressing that today was a positive day on all accounts - work & home. I feel somewhat balanced today. Today being away from my kids felt almost okay.
Does that mean it is getting easier? I don't think so.
Am I getting used to it? Perhaps.
In my honest opinion, being a stay at home mom is the toughest job in the world. It's rewarding, so I hear, but it's SO difficult, and so much work, on so many levels. Many women that I've chatted with who stay at home most of the time actually LIKE to go to work to get a day away from their kids. Then, they continue juggle house work, transportation, extra-curricular activities, school trips, volunteering...the list goes on.
At least being a working (outside of the home) mom, it's seen as "okay" to ask for help.
The mom who stays at home is expected to do it ALL 'cause, you know, she's not doing anything else anyway. (Insert sarcasm here)
Tonight I got the boys 'schedule' from our caregiver. I, the mother of these boys, got the daily schedule from the nanny.
I wondered if there was something wrong with that picture. The thing is, when I have a day off & I'm home with the kids, we usually have so much packed into our day, there isn't a second of downtime and chances are that we're not even at home. Other than bathtime, bedtime and meals, there isn't much of a routine. Um, but wait! What do I do when I'm home with them all day & every day?
Hence the schedule.
We are also going to have some family look after the boys as well, and I wanted to have a rough outline of their routines typed up so they had something to go by as well. (OK! It's also because I'm totally Type A about these things!)
It will be a big adjustment for the boys as well - which is why I figure keeping their normal Monday to Friday routine is so important.
I'm feeling like a super workin' woman today. I realize this is a stark contrast from the recent post about longing to stay at home. I'm doubting myself. I suppose I'm just preparing myself. After having a caregiver here looking after the kids since I've been working Monday-Friday, it is going to feel empty here without her.
Deep down, I want to be good at this, I want to love this. I want it to be a success. I want to have happy kids, a clean house and dinners made. I'll be soul searching next month. I want some answers about what I should really be doing. Will this be what I really want?
I love doing fun things with and for my kids. One of my absolute faves is planning birthday parties.
The thing that makes planning birthday parties easier for me is choosing a theme.
The thing that makes planning birthday parties even EASIER is repeating the theme.
I have 3 boys, and for each of their 2nd birthday parties they have had ELMO themed parties. I KNOW, I'm such a slacker!
I actually considered Spence's birthday request for a Wiggles themed party, but breathed a quiet sigh of relief when he told me he wanted Elmo instead.
So, this is what I did for the Elmo themed birthday. Elmo greeted everyone at the front door, holding balloons.
The coffee/tea/beverage table in my dining room had stuffed Elmos and decorations on it.
The game we played was "Pin the NOSE on the ELMO". It was pretty easy - just red bristol board, with an orange nose, black mouth and white eyes.
The craft was definitely a hit at the party.
Here is the birthday boy, creating his masterpiece. I pre-cut the noses & mouths, and the rest was up to the kiddies to decide...
Then of course we had to have Cake!
And once chaos was over & done with, everyone was sent home with a special loot bag...
with their own Elmo cookie mix to make at home.
What a wonderful day we had...can't believe my baby is growing up so fast. One thing's for sure...no matter how big he gets, he'll always be my baby... Happy Birthday to you my little buddy!
We had such an amazing day today...it was my baby's 2nd birthday party. Although his real birthday isn't until May, I thought it was best to have it while I still have our nanny caregiver for the boys in the country and therefore actually had time to organize. We had an Elmo party for him, I hope to post photos & details soon.
Today was also a special day because it would have been my late Grandmother's birthday. My mother asked if I knew it was today, and I said of course I did! She passed away a year ago in March, and for some reason I don't even try to remember the exact day she died, but instead I remember her special day when we celebrated her life - on her birthday - April 24th! I was the only person at her side when she passed, which at the time I didn't realize was such a gift, but I quickly realized what a blessing that was. I have some wonderful pieces of her antique furniture in my home too, and somedays when I open a china cabinet door, or a buffet drawer, the smell of the wood brings back so many wonderful memories of being at her home.
I still think about her often & today I quietly celebrated her life despite the insanely busy day we had. She had a special bond with my youngest, so I thought this picture would be perfect to go along with my post...
I still miss her company, her great advice on life, and the great comfort she brought to me, but more importantly I feel truly blessed that I had such an amazing woman in my life for so many years.
So remember my post about biting off more than I can chew? Well, I made all these "promises" to myself about how I was going to sign up for a Friday night fitness class. Friday? Nights? Nope, that didn't happen. When you set goals, you're supposed to make sure they're Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Limited (Acronym = SMART, get it? Yeah!) ...That was obviously not realistic for me.
Fast forward a few weeks & my dear friend and I have signed up for a SPIN class on Saturday mornings. I went to my first class the week before last, and I had to miss class #2 because I was in a curling bonspiel. I know, missing the 2nd class isn't a good sign, but at least the curling can be counted as physical activity. As was lifting my Caesar glass to my lips. Canadians love curling. Canadians enjoy drinking. Curling + Drinking = meant to be.
Anyway, back to spin class. We went to our first class and we were the only newbies. The instructor very kindly set us up and away we went. The idea is (duhhhh) to change your tension as if you were in different parts of a road or path. 1-3 is cruising (also known my lanky legs going so fast that I feel like they're going to spin right off the bike) 4-5 is more of my quads working (also known as feeling the burn), 6-7 gets my hamstrings engaged (also known as Owwww!), then after that it's standing up or squatting forward to get those pedals moving (also known as holy $hit!).
Some of my favourite spinning advice from a fellow mommy friend was this: If you're having trouble and they tell you to crank it up, you can fake - just a little. That just took the pressure off completely. I was honestly afraid I might fall off the bike! This made me feel much better.
It did go really well in the end, I was quite impressed myself. I didn't even have to fake it. I am FAR from being in shape, and I'm not really lookin' like I'd like to these days but I figure the first step is admitting it and signing up for help. The second step for me is blogging about it, because for some reason now I feel like I'm more accountable for my unhealthy actions. I've admitted my problem, so I will now report back on how things are going. Next is tackling the cookie eating, chocolate addiction, snacking issues that I have. I just can't resist some things! I try so hard to give my kids good healthy foods (like Momma K's spaghetti sauce) but I don't really look after myself in the same way. Pregnancy x 3 was a good way to not worry about my appearance. I need to pay attention to my health - not just for physical appearance but for my overall health. It's time for a change.
Tomorrow, bright and early, will be my next spin class and I'm really looking forward to feeling the burn again. I used to be conscientous about being active, eating right and everything in between. It's time to get serious.
And if by chance I'm falling behind, feeling overwhelmed and really feeling the burn....I am promising myself, in front of my blogging friends...
Whewwww....I had a stressful couple of days. Not as stressful as many people I know so don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Things could be worse for me. For others they are worse. I know.
I called my best friend on my way home yesterday afternoon and within about 2 minutes she asked if I wanted to do dinner. With us, dinner does not mean dinner with the 2 of us. Dinner with my bestie (that's Besteeeee, not Beeeeeestie) always includes the kids. She has 3 and so do I. Perfect! Our hubbies play nicely too, it's the ideal bromance.
Not only did she read my mind (since she obviously knew I was losing mine yesterday), she knew enough to bring food. Most importantly, she brought wine. See? I told you that she knows me well.
The dinner she made was amaaaaazing. Rice & marinated chicken thighs. Some salad & raw veggies and we were off to the yummy dinner races.
I have been blessed in many ways and have a lot of great friends. I never had the sister I wanted so my best friend became my surrogate. Our first kids were born 23 days apart (nope, it wasn't planned!) She is also the type of person who doesn't judge. If my house is a mess, she doesn't care. Doesn't everyone have those friends that you clean your house for, and those you don't? I can't be the only one who only cleans for certain people. The people I don't clean for are inevitably my favourite.
So this post...is dedicated to my favourite friend and sister from another mister. You know who you are & I think you're the greatest.
Thanks for dinner & thanks for always being there.
And thanks for never making me clean my house for your arrival.
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The Bestie's one Pan Dinner Bake
2 1/4 cup jasmine rice 3/4 cup water 1 box organic chicken broth (okay, okay, she didn't use organic, but I would) chicken thighs (about 10 of them) BullsEye BBQ sauce
1) Place BBQ sauce and chicken in ziploc baggie and mix 2) Put rice, water & broth into a bowl, mix and pour into 9x13 pan. Place chicken on top 3) Bake at 350F for about an hour or until cooked.
This is a sauce that I use for many different recipes ... and it freezes really well too! It's also super for hiding ANY type of vegetable, so use your imagination and add in whatever you have on hand at home!
1/4 cup olive oil 1 large onion, chopped 1 red/yellow pepper, chopped one small zucchini, chopped & quartered 1 small pkg frozen spinach 2-3 carrots shredded or chopped basil, oregano, thyme, salt, pepper 1-2 cans diced tomatoes 1 small can tomato paste 1-2 jars jarred sauce (if desired) 2 lbs cooked ground beef
In large pot, heat oil on medium heat. Add onions & cook until translucent. Then add peppers and other veggies. When the vegetables are tender, add 1-2 tbsp each of basil, oregano and thyme. Add S&P as you desire. Add chopped garlic cloves (I usually used already diced garlic in jars - 2 or 3 tbsp) Cook for another 2-5 minutes.
Pour in the tomatoes and tomato paste, stirring well. I always cheat a little and add some organic tomato sauce. If I was childless I'd leave the sauce chunky but the extra sauce helps hide things like zucchini and spinach. If the extra sauce doesn't hide it, remember that parmesan cheese sprinkled on top probably will!
Add cooked ground beef to the sauce mixture, and let it simmer while you reward yourself for all your hard work with a glass of red wine.
I also use Omega flax pasta...whole wheat is always good too. I worked my fam up to the flax pasta slowly - starting with regular whole wheat and now they can't even tell the difference.
Here is the sauce simmering...(I'm behind the camera, likely sipping Shiraz)
If you have leftovers, this sauce freezes easily. Once I get my act together, I will post other recipes that call for this sauce (my cheesy tomato macaroni is a hit!!)
I had a post ready to publish, but I just can't bring myself to post what now appears to be so unimportant, and so absolutely petty.
I can't say much today...but today has been a reminder for me - hug your little ones, smile at your neighbour, give someone a compliment, do a good deed, make up with your spouse for that little argument that in the big scheme of things means nothing...Live, love, laugh. Soak up every last drop of this marvelous and magnificent life we have been given.
Life is just too short.
I will...in the future...be losing someone who was like a mother to me, a friend to me, and a person who has a heart of gold.
I know that - someday - I want to find a way to honour her and talk & write about ways to support her cause...
I love my job. I love my boss. I love what I do and the opportunities I have at work. Regardless of the fulfillment my job brings me on so many levels, most days I'm subconsciously thinking of what life would be like as a stay-at-home-mom.I get up some mornings and think of how I was awake giving Sam his ba-ba of milk just an hour ago & how I'd love to stay in bed and snuggle...I get up other mornings feeling like I'm the Queen of the professional workin' momma world....
To read the full post, click here: www.outnumberedmomma.com. This is reposted from March 11, 2010
So now that I've been writing for a few months now, I figure it's time to talk serious.
Skeletons in the closet...
I have an ex...we met when I was about 18 and he was 19. I worked on the patio at a popular restaurant and bar and he showed up on his street bike, engine roaring, the epitome of cool...
You know it's funny, I never ever thought of what he did or who he was. When you're 18 you don't think of those long term, enduring qualities of a person - at least I didn't anyway. Um, mom why didn't you tell me that stuff? We were good friends...It was all party, fun, no responsibilities, nothing significant to be discussed!
Fast forward 3 years and I was pregnant with Jackson. We lived in a teeny little apartment in the north end of the city and that worked out for about 3 months.
I ended up going to nursing school when Jackson was 6 months old.
2.5 years later I graduated, and bought my own house. I had Jackson 99% of the time and the ex and I would see each other on and off. Generally it was fairly unhealthy to be perfectly honest but we did try to get along for Jackson's sake.
There were many many times that I wanted to just say FORGET it & just stay away...but with my thoughts on what love was and my mother's unrelenting patience and her absolute saint-like abilities to see the best in everyone, I was begrudgingly convinced to be civil - for Jackson's sake.
The same year I bought my house, I was set up on a blind date with with a wonderful guy. I wasn't looking for love...I was quite happy to be independent with a new job, new house and a lovely little boy. My friend Christine lived in the basement apartment of my house & we both worked at the local hospital. Life was perfect!
It was 2004 at that time and I was now the epitome of the independent woman.
A colleague from work asked if she could introduce me to her brother in law...I said "Sure why not?", but I knew I had nothing serious in mind.
The blind date was to a local restaurant - I had just worked 3 night shifts and for those who have never worked a night shift you should a) count your blessings and b) understand that after nights you look like crap and generally function at about 50% of your usual intellect levels. Frightening, isn't it.
We went, had a good time & that was about it.
I didn't jump at another opportunity to go out...
Finally about a week later, my best friend offered to stay at the house with Jackson...the date and I went out for a "drink" and what felt like 10 minutes was actually 3 hours of conversation. This guy listened and laughed...we had common interests, and even common friends.
Date #3 was a movie at my house after Jackson was already tucked into bed. And then soon after that, a trip to a family cottage...no pressure, we could bring Jackson, there were a ton of other kids there, and we had a great time. Well...being at the cottage for that weekend and I was SOLD. I asked Brian if he would ever consider marriage again in passing one day, not really thinking of myself being part of that equation (he had been married young and divorced young too). He said he never thought he would...
Brian and I got married the following year -- and here were are now with 3 boys in total, living the dream!
I am lucky that after a few bumps in the road, and a few man-to-man conversations initiated by my hubby; the ex and the hubby get along. They have even recently admitted that they like each other. We went on a triple date bowling one night a few weeks ago. I know, I know, we are a total anomaly.
People think we're crazy...bizarro, insane, odd, abnormal.
Well what? Would they rather me have a restraining order against the ex and have court ordered custody?
Instead we act like adults - no courts, no fights, no drama.
And in the end, we all know we did this for Jackson's sake, and there were some rough times and confrontations, but in the end we perservered, acted like grown-ups, compromised and now are truly all FRIENDS.
I am telling you, people give us the strangest looks, even still after all these years. Sometimes I wonder about people...with the divorce rates so high & the shitty things that happen in this crazy world, you would think that people would try a little harder to get along. We are so glad we worked our asses off to get where we are now and (although cliche), I wouldn't change one single thing.
PS - Sarah I promise my next post will be on potty training.
I got some very happy news last week (Nope, not pregnant) Friends of ours got engaged last weekend. I got goosebumps when I heard the news. It took me back to the moments when Brian proposed to me. Years later, things are very different (obviously) but it's a positive difference.
I figure that marriage is sort of like God. Even though there are many priorities in the world, God is above everything in the world.
To me, marriage is the same thing - and I think it should be above all else too (except God of course, you don't mess with him).
Kids, work, careers, cleaning, laundry, hobbies, school volunteering, hockey, yoga, golf, shopping, friends, social events, family...all pretty important on some level right?
But without a happy and secure marriage; how much do these things really matter? Or conversely, without happiness and joy in a marriage, how are these things affected?
With kids, I have found it's been easy to let my relationship with Brian take 2nd (or 3rd - sorry honey) place. I love my kids dearly, they are my pride & joy and sometimes by attending to their needs, I would neglect the needs of my marriage. At their young age, it's hard to find that time to even just have a decent small-talk conversation, let alone a serious discussion, I do realize that. But the truth is - if a marriage is neglected, chances are; one or both parties is going to end up unhappy. I'm no expert and I don't mean to sound like some know-it-all marriage counselor because I'm lucky in the fact that Brian was married previously when he was very young - therefore he wins the title of marriage counselor by default. I think he learned some good lessons about what works and what doesn't. I had a previous long-term relationship that obviously didn't last either. We are still friends though, but that's another post for another day.
Bri and I are lucky that both sets of our parents are still happily married. No relationship is perfect, but we had the values of working things out with your partner as we grew up. Some people don't have that role model so I can only try to imagine what that's like... Anyway, I went on a bit of a tangent there...the point is, I do feel blessed to have a husband who is willing to work on our relationship at all costs and is eager to spend time together, even if it's just a lunch date out together.
This post is dedicated to my hubby who puts up with me, cooks breakfast for me every weekend (and cleans up like nobody's business), is an amazing dad, works hard to support his family, supports me when I doubt myself (and also when I'm sure of myself), and loves me, unconditionally...no matter what. Here's to my hubby...and letting you know I feel the same way about you too.
Us having fun with friends, playing euchre and drinking red wine - April 2010
I was signing out of my email today and the little home page that pops up showed a video link for a "mommy meanest" video. I was intrigued to say the least.
I clicked on it...and wouldn't you know? It was on mommy bloggers.
And I say...if you're breastfeeding your kid at 18 months & someone thinks it's weird you should just tell them that breastfeeding is the best possible start you can give your child. If they think it's weird they are obviously not as intelligent, dedicated or educated as you are. (heehee) Suck it up & stick up for yourself! As for the non-immunizer...mehhhhh....I don't agree with that either. You better have some good back-up to WHY you're not immunizing - especially if you refuse ALL immunizations. You're going against what is said to be "best" for children. Of course people are gonna question you. And some will agree with you as well.
But that's the beauty of writing something that other people will read...it elicits thoughts, debates and questions about many issues of mothering, raising kids, and life in general.
I'm not sayin' people should be rude or mean or beligerent to others - (check out my blog with integrity button on the right) but really, if you're gonna say something that is controversial - you're going to get a reaction! Such is life.
Oooooh I'm feisty tonight.
On a completely unrelated note....my facebook fan page has 95 fans! That's 5 away from 100!! Thanks to all my peeps who joined the page (even if it was only for pity)
Love to you all!
And, no I have no shame and will take more pity fans if you're willing to oblige me. Here's the link to my page:
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