Welcome to the Bella Vida Blog. Since this is our first blog, we thought it would be appropriate to talk about WHY we’re doing what we’re doing and also talk about our own ‘births’ which includes the birth of our newest “baby” Bella Vida. We’ll start with Karin’s story, then Keri’s.
Feel free to leave a comment, or drop us a line at contact@bellavidababy.ca to tell us what you think!
KARIN:
Ever since I was a little girl, I was fascinated by birth. While other kids were watching cartoons, I was watching birth stories, and reading them online. While other kids played dolls, I played "pregnancy". This all lead me down the career path I am living today, however personally it was the ultimate irony.
It is amazing how before we are married, we spend so much time trying to NOT get pregnant, that when we want to we feel it should be as easy as they say in gym class.
However, for this type A overachiever, getting pregnant and having a family was a rocky road... with a happy ending. It took three years to get pregnant with my first daughter, Ava.
Although Kingston has an extensive infertility program, there is little….or dare I say NO emotional support for those going through the program. When my husband and I finally became pregnant with Ava, I was a midwifery student at Mac, and naturally chose a midwife for my care.
My goal was a birth that was as free from intervention as possible. When my water broke, I was exactly 40 weeks, and excited to experience this beautiful event I had read about and studied all my life. However, my birth with Ava was difficult, and ended up taking me far away from my goal. I developed a fever, and Ava was compressing on her cord with every contraction as there was no amniotic fluid left. This left us with an unhappy baby, and a spiral of interventions. It was scary, and I felt unprepared because I focused my whole pregnancy on my perfect, "beautiful, calm" birth. In the end, I got my gorgeous miracle baby, but vowed to prepare differently next time. My postpartum period was very difficult. Breastfeeding was something I taught, and thought I was well prepared for. However, my daughter was tongue tied, and I ended up with a deep thrush that required 12 weeks of antibiotics to cure. In that time I realized that there was very little breastfeeding support in Kingston (I ended up driving to Toronto) and even less postpartum support.
Despite it all, one year later we tried to have another. And tried, and tried. I went through 12 rounds of intrauterine insemination, and IVF over three years. All failed. It was devastating, and we turned to adoption. Initially, we went through a private adoption with a couple from Ottawa. We grew very close to them, and our son Noah was born early in December 2009. He was born with Down Syndrome, and I was determined to breastfeed him despite his challenges. I wanted desperately for someone to help guide me, but there was no one in Kingston who would help me learn how to prepare to breastfeed an adopted baby- let alone one with special needs. I self taught, and went on the required meds with the help of some MDs I work with. I had to pump every 3 hrs around the clock for 2 mos leading up to Noah's arrival, but it was all worth it as I breastfed our beautiful son for the first time right after his birth. Noah was with us until Christmas Eve, when sadly, we lost him. It was the darkest time in my life, and a time when I felt lost, and angry at the world for my infertility, the loss of our son, and the lack of support services.
The local CAS contacted us shortly after and said they had a little boy who would be a perfect fit for our family. Although our hearts were still heavy over the loss of our son, we agreed that our second son, Gavin would be the light that would start to heal our hearts, and that of our daughter. By some miracle, in January 2010 three weeks after we adopted our son Gavin, I became pregnant with our second miracle baby, Isla. I strongly feel that breastfeeding Noah was the reason I was able to get pregnant with Isla, and it is a gift he gave me that I feel honoured by. This time, I prepared myself for any outcome with the birth- and it was a good thing as my pregnancy was rittled with problems. The final straw was Cholestasis, which I acquired at 35 weeks. With a heavy heart I knew that meant transfer of my care from my wonderful midwives to an OB, and induction of labor at 37 weeks to prevent stillbirth.
Although the induction was nothing like what I wanted, it gave me some insight into the other side of birth, and at the end of it my beautiful daughter. I had a rocky road to motherhood, and although I now have three wonderful children, I realized that there was a severe gap in Kingston for the kind of services new families needed. There were very little breastfeeding supports for what I needed as a difficult case, there were no classes to prepare my children for the arrival of new babies, there was no support for infertile patients, and lastly there is no support for adoptive families, both those who have successful and unsuccessful adoptions.
Although I felt always that birth was my calling, I now also feel it was the arrival, and loss, of each of my children that opened my eyes to my new calling of helping young families in Kingston and putting in place education and supports that do not exist. This is how I came to realize that I could help other moms, and Bella Vida was born.
Karin's photo!
KERI -
I had my first baby when I was 21. It seems so young now! I went to local public health prenatal classes. I didn’t want to feel pressured to go ‘natural’ as it to me it was scary, daunting and seemed very overwhelming. I knew a little bit about birth, but probably not enough.
I had an epidural after a long labour that ended up requiring augmentation with oxytocin. My son Jackson was born just over 41 weeks, and just over 9 pounds. Knowing what I now know, I wish I’d used more comfort measures, walking, and positioning for labour.
Breastfeeding went pretty well, but I still remember crying every night because I was so tired and sore. Every night I vowed the next day I’d go get formula. The sun would come up, and after a few hours of sleep I remembered thinking I could get through another day.
A public health nurse, who was actually my friend’s mother, came over to provide me a home visit. I remember asking “how long do I need to breastfeed for him to get all the benefits he needs?” I was so frustrated in the early stages! I was so glad to have support & someone to answer my questions. After a few weeks, it became easier & I breastfed him for 9 months!
When he was 6 months old I went back to school to become an RN. I took my knowledge and passion for learning about perinatal nursing and breastfeeding throughout my schooling. But that’s another story…
When I became pregnant with my 2nd son, Owen & I didn’t attend prenatal classes. At that time, I was a nurse and working on my BScN degree. I knew about the the pros and cons of natural versus medicated birth, but I was “medicalized” and probably knew a little too much about the complications of birth, and not enough about normal birth.
I went as long as I could without pain medication. Owen was occiput posterior (meaning his head was facing the wrong way and caused back pains). I felt very uncomfortable and I didn’t really want an epidural so early on…but at the same time I don’t regret my decision because it was right for me in that moment.
I do, however wish I knew about alternate positions that could have helped him turn the right way. I wish I had a little more empowerment. Even as a nurse, I didn’t know it all and didn’t know what would happen during this unique birth. I was able to push him (with work!) into the correct position, with some great techniques that my RN taught me, and delivered a very happy healthy 9lb 5oz baby boy!! I breastfed him for 11 months.
Fast forward 17 months, and I was in labour with my 3rd baby. He was 10 days late. I was ready & willing to be induced with Cervidil. I knew he was big & we knew it was time. I went into the hospital for my induction. I was able to sleep through the night after I had Cervidil & the next day I had a very exciting & enjoyable labour & delivery! I knew about comfort measures, breathing, and relaxation techniques. It was wonderful.
Samuel Foster was born, 10 lbs, 9 oz happy and healthy. It was such a wonderful delivery – even though there was a little medical intervention in the beginning to help get things started, it was a natural and beautiful birth….I knew more about birth at this time & knew I could trust my body to birth this beautiful *and big* baby boy. I went on to breastfed Sam for 18 months (almost 19).
There were challenges in the first few days home (engorgement, edema etc) but as a nurse who studied breastfeeding I knew what to do. It could have been a major challenge if I didn’t have my professional breastfeeding experience to help me.
Throughout my journey, I had inspirational people to help me. From the family doctors who delivered my babies, to the nurses who helped me with different labouring positions and pushing techniques, to the amazing public health nurses who visited me at home (by the time I had Samuel, services had been cut - universal visits are no longer offered ☹)…I was always impressed by, and thankful for, any help they offered.
I want to be able to help mothers, babies and their families. Looking back, I don’t regret any of the journeys that brought me to motherhood. I do wish I’d had a little more education and empowerment before I had my babies. Every person & every birth is unique. There is not just ONE way to do things.
The journey to labour, delivery, breastfeeding and parenting may be a little different for each individual, and Bella Vida was born to help women and families make choices – based on THEIR unique needs and their own informed choices. Thanks for reading and we hope that you enjoyed reading about how Bella Vida came to be…. Stay tuned for future blog posts about prenatal care, labour & delivery, breastfeeding, parenting, and other interesting topics in the world of prenatal & postpartum care!
